North Beach Pizza

Decor is better than average, and there is parking, which is not something to dismiss easily, but the service is crazy slow and not worth the wait. Maybe it was the time of day we tried to eat there? Whatever it was, it's just pizza and pasta, there's no real reason lunch should take two hours! We should have been tipped off by the fact that there was no one there except retired-looking folks sipping contentedly at coffee and chatting idly.

The food tasted fine, don't get me wrong, but it was extremely simple. In that kind of time, I could have made pasta myself from scratch. And next time, I guess I will.

Today: Back to Work

Debriefing from Be More Firm: that's going to have to be a longer-term resolution, not just a single day thing. But don't concern yourself with it, it is something of a personal matter that can probably be dealt with successfully with this one resolution.

Today, it's Back to Work.

It's only been a single day of holiday, and I'm dragging my feet to work. I don't return from vacation too well. I do feel well-vacation'ed, and I did get a lot of old neglected resolutions out of the way, but now that the Sanity Meter is full, I dread subjecting it to the drain of work again!

So today's resolution is to be a good sport and get back into work-mode. Not quite like jumping back into the cold pool from the hot tub, more like easing back in one limb at a time, but it still counts.

At least I have grilling leftovers to console me over lunch.

Today: Be More Firm

Debriefing from Evil Think Tank: We came up with some pretty good stuff.

- come to work in costume. Link, Mario, Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain America, Star Trek uniform, Team Fortress 2 Spy. Endless possibilities. And, of course, refuse to admit he's in costume when asked.

- send himself elaborate display gifts. Bouquets of flowers, huge baskets of treats, giant balloon displays. Also refuse to talk about them, but leave them sitting in an inconvenient place.

- set his cell phone to super loud and obnoxious ring tone, and be called every ten minutes. Refuse to answer the phone.

- buy a huge box of donuts and not offer to share with anyone. Throw excess in the trash.

- make popcorn so the place smells like popcorn. Still do not share.

- eat durian for lunch. So tasty! So smelly!

- wear a snuggie to work

- fish on lunchbreak, keep bait and/or caught fish in a bucket next to his desk

- leave a cardboard cutout of himself at his desk in his place

- talk to self and play the occasional musical instrument at his desk.

And the think tank keeps churning...

Today I'm going to Be More Firm.

I'm doubt I'm known for being firm, but I also doubt I'm known for being easily steamrolled into doing another person's bidding. And if someone thinks the latter, well they're about to be on the wrong end of this resolution.

Today: Evil Think Tank

I like my plan from Monday. It's a very good standard for a daily victory.

Today's complaint is the following:

Do you have someone at work that you hate? Probably, right? At least pretend you do, because it will make me feel better. Like, someone who is wholly incompetent, you complain about them to your friends, you certainly don't ever want to talk to them, and if they fell into a ditch and died, you'd pop the cork on that champagne you've been chilling?

I do that all the time. And I feel like it's no big deal - I don't actually push anyone into a ditch, so no one gets hurt. I don't seriously undermine them, mostly just ignore them, and don't go out of my way to keep them in the loop, or help them with a problem, or.... chat them up.

The problem is at this workplace, I seem to have become that person. Ostracized from meetings, never asked for my opinion, snapped at when I suggest things. I'm not exactly used to being the pariah of the group. The troubling matter is, when I think back to wonder if there's anything the pariah can do to get back in good graces, the answer is a big fat "nothing".

Something to ponder.

Today we're going to Brainstorm Evil Ideas.

As bad as (I feel like) I have it at work, Xian is probably worst off. Not worst off, financially. He is paid super well. Maybe too well to quit - that is part of the problem? Whatever your feelings about money, the job itself - and all the people in it - are the very bottom of the barrel of human decency. And today, we need to brainstorm ways to troll them.

Have I told you? Xian is a professional troller. His work has been bad for longer than my work has existed, and he's retaliated against the world by becoming what one might term an "Extreme Troller". He used to spend all day at work brainstorming things to yell at the other team in Team Fortress 2. And today, we're going to brainstorm things he can do to troll his office, because he is surely going to quit soon.

Today: Take Care of Myself

Going to have to keep rolling on the Be Selfish theme, and continue to stab my way through the evenings in frustration over my workplace.

Here's a vague outline of my three-pronged plan, to be hopefully fleshed out in a later post:

1) Do something selfish

- with the aim of mollifying myself in the short term

2) Do something productive

- with the aim of getting out of this place and into something better suited to me

3) Do something unselfish

- with the aim of making me feel good by making others feel good, and

- to make up for short-term selfish behavior and build good karma in general

Today: Feel Sorry for Myself

Debriefing from Do Whatever I Want: You know, when you're a kid, and you say that? "I'm going to do whatever I want, because nobody's watching me?" And then you hurt yourself really bad, or get a stomachache from eating candy til you drop? Yeah, well let's just say Bloons is hard, and we should quit while we're ahead. "Ahead" in this context to mean that I finally beat the Beginning map on Easy after many hours of grueling battle with balloons and now I might regret that whole day. There is the suspicion, to accompany the bruises, that this game.... might not want you to win.

Pizza was good, though.

Today, I'm going to continue in the theme of selfishness, and Feel Sorry for Myself.

I brought up to my boss how I'm getting thrown under the bus by my one and only co-worker, and he pretty much doesn't care. That's okay, I didn't want to come off too whiny, but I just wanted to make him aware of the situation, in case other coworker shows up dead in a ditch, on fire. But it did sound a bit dismissive, as if "you were already under there, nobody needs to throw you." So, a bit unsuccessful in trying to fix my standing with the boss-man.

Nothing to be done about that! So I'm gonna go home, load up on ice cream, and kill people in Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, until my job looks delightful in comparison.

Today: Do Whatever I Want

Debriefing from Don't Let it Get to Me: That one is probably long term, and will need to be broken up into smaller steps. But at least we're aware of it. The first step shall be....

Today I'm going to Do Whatever I Want.

I'm going to eat an entire pizza at 3pm and wash it down with a Pepsi, and no one's gonna say no. Can I even down an entire pizza and Pepsi? We'll never know until we try, Goddammit. I'm gonna play Bloons 4: Expansion for maybe 3 to 4 hours, and then I'm going to watch a basketball game. Take that, world! Who's winning, now? Me, I'm winning. Bi-winning, even.

Today: Don't Let it Get to Me

Debriefing from Debate Skills: Here's what I've thought up so far. I have a tendency to exaggerate. I'm not apologizing for that, it's a harmless pastime, if you will. I won't believe that it's such a bad habit that I have to quit, using some kind of 'exaggeration patch'. It is how I talk, and maybe people should deal with it.

Unfortunately, the consequence in this case seems to be problematic arguing. Because I exaggerate all the time, I'm very comfortable with my own mode of speech, and it doesn't bother me as much as it seems to bother (subconsciously) other people. I'm using it to make a point, and I see nothing wrong with that. But people who are irritated (for lack of a better word. I just wouldn't understand if someone were really pissed off by exaggerating. Again, it's harmless?) can't see the point I'm trying to make for the exaggeration, and, much like Phoenix Wright games, latch on to the contradiction with a bit of "Objection!" and a bit of "Take That!" and the argument quickly de-rails from the initial point to, 'everything you're saying is inaccurate so why should I listen to you'. Infuriating.

If the only way to avoid this path is to not exaggerate during an argument, I guess I can do that. To ask me to stop exaggerating entirely, just so YOU can retain the ability to pay attention would be asking too much, though. So I refuse to acknowledge this as a solution to the other concern of people ignoring me in general. I would rather make use of a bullwhip, because this is not my problem.

And that shall bring me to my other point of the day. Sorry if it is all so preachy today, but I gotta get this one out.

You know how nobody, ever (especially men, as that is how a man is raised in society) is able to take blame for anything? And don't think "everyone but me," because that is the exact kind of not-taking-blame that I'm talking about right here. Well, this is going to be about semantics, so bear with me.

Let me present you with a situation, exaggerated (of course) for emphasis. You go to handshake one of your friends, and instead, your friend sucker punches you in the stomach. Doubled over in agony on the ground, you manage a 'WTF!' to which he replies: 'Oh. I didn't mean to hit you.' And then he proceeds as if he's done no wrong. 'But you did,' you say. 'You did hit me, right there.' And he gets irritated. 'But I didn't mean to,' he repeats, as if maybe you didn't hear him the first time, because it's a faultless, iron-clad statement of his innocence int he matter. He clearly doesn't feel that he needs to take any blame, here, and is pretty offended that you're making such a scene out of it.

Now I'm not saying that the next time someone complains to you about something you're doing, or accuses you of ill-treatment, you have to get down on your knees and beg forgiveness, and for God's sake, please don't apologize insincerely instead and think that will work, because that may be even worse, but come on. Think about this from the other side. At least make an effort to understand what's going on instead of outright dismissal and defense against taking blame - you might, in fact, be to blame for something or need to do something different.

This will be hard. You won't see yourself doing it. You'll insist that you're not to blame for anything, and you'll probably suggest that the person doing the accusing is crazy, or is 'blowing things out of proportion' or something similar. But try to watch for this, specifically: someone is saying to you that you insulted them, hurt their feelings, punched them in the gut, and you're about to say, "I didn't mean to" and thus clear yourself of all blame. Stop right there, and ask yourself if you 'not meaning to' actually makes everything okay. Because in the example above, it does not, and most of the time, not meaning to doesn't mean the other person has no legitimate complaint. Just like in crime shows, you can't use "I didn't mean to kill that guy" as a defense case. 'That guy' is still dead. Sometimes it's the last words you hear on CSI or Law and Order before someone is taken away in cuffs.

And I'll work on not letting that get to me. Because yes, it is mostly semantics. But other people's semantics really get to me, sometimes.

Today: Debate Skills

Debriefing from Plan Way Ahead: I seem to be on his calendar for July 9th, so that is good. I suppose this far out, there's a higher chance of getting blown off, but we'll just have to see. Lin tried to plan only a few hours ahead with him - naturally it didn't quite work out!

As for pessimism, I think I'm doing okay, but I had a really hard time with X-Men: First Class. I have a very strong pessimistic feeling on that one, and I don't think I can be swayed... That's not to say you can't watch it, just please do it without me. What evidence do I have that it's going to be so bad as to be unwatchable? I will cite X-Men 3 and stick to that reasoning.

Today I'm going to work on my Debate Skills.

I think it's not far-fetched to say that I'm a really, really bad debater. Just, bad at arguments. Somehow. It's hard to pinpoint where the failure is, but added to the Voice problems discussed before the weekend, it results in getting dismissed out of hand quite a lot, and nothing pisses a person off more. Has it not happened to you? Trust me, it is the most violence-inducing feeling on Earth.

I've got to spend a clear-headed moment rethinking my approach to the science of arguments, and try and make some tweaks. For the safety of all.

Costco

Oh, Costco. Where else can you make impulse purchases that you can regret for months and months on end?

Today: Plan Way Ahead

Debriefing from Execute: Happy to report that everything went off relatively smoothly. My contributions weren't maybe as critical to success, but I contributed, which was the resolution in the first place.

As for 'Sad But Scientific', it turned out that we didn't really do much as a group this weekend, so the theory wasn't put to the test. Lin, optimist as usual, says to look on the bright side, at least no one turns around and runs for it when I offer them assistance (he's a big guy).

On yet another side note: is that actually optimism? I've started to question what is really optimism and what is really pessimism. The best I can come up with, as an action plan, is to avoid pessimism by never saying 'no' to an invite without good cause. Or, in more general terms, never shooting something down unless I am really, really, without a doubt that it is going to be bad. One of my old co-workers was the most amazing pessimist ever - I still liked him, because it was actually kind of funny the way he'd be so negative about everything, like a human Eyore (sp?). But at least he'd do it, right? "Let's go to that new place for lunch." "It's going to be awful. New places are always awful." "Let's go anyway." "Fine." Even if it was awful, he'd just say: "I told you so" and let it go. You could even get him to go back, if you pressed hard enough.

Occasionally, some of my friends (all girls, oddly enough) will just dig in their heels with the assumption that things are bad, will always be bad, and can never get any better, therefore we will never, ever go there or do that. Let's use... Mexican restaurants as an example. I'm not a superfan of Mexican, myself, but I'll give it a chance, if pressed. It amazes me that some girls just... won't. Apparently, there's no way that it could possibly be good, you're crazy for even thinking that it might be, we definitely won't be going there. Ever. Even if they've never tried it, have no real reason to think it's bad, and everyone else says it's good. I think that's true pessimism - I don't think I do anything like that, but I'm going to keep an eye out for it. You should, too.

Today I'm going to Play Way Ahead.

One of my friends is perpetually busy. In order to secure his attendance, I think I'll need to be super official and nail him down for specific future dates. It's like trying to invite the President to tea. You got to get on the calendar somehow.

Ok, that's an unfair assessment. We have been blown off a few times, and sometimes we do go a few weeks without seeing him. But I guess, looking at the calendar, we are all quite busy in the coming months. Summertime, I guess. Camping trips, graduations, various weekend trips and activities have been booked all the way through to July. So I'm putting down a reservation for the weekend of July 9th for a get-together. That is probably the furthest ahead I've ever had to plan a party. Sheesh, I'm probably going to end up over-thinking this one.

Today: Execute

Debriefing from Review Blog: Well, I started writing a very long post, and it probably needs some more editing and pictures / video, but I did make progress, not that it is necessarily shown here.

Today, I'm going to Execute.

We have a plan for the evening, and it'll take a lot to put it together. I'm going to contribute, and if things don't come together, I'm resolutely not going to be irritated.

On a different note, I'm dreadfully convinced that there's something about the timbre of my voice that screams: "Don't take me seriously!" I am the type of person who can ask someone nicely to cut it out, then ask not so nicely, then go directly to grisly threats and violent punishment, and STILL no one pays attention. Also, it feels like every one of my suggestions, ever, gets ignored. I'll put this potential exaggeration to the test this weekend. I will prove that no one pays attention by increasing the number of suggestions, direct orders, accusations, and calls for help. I will show you that everyone I know no longer responds to the sound of my voice.

Depressing. But scientific.

NBA on TNT

I haven't watched the NBA on TNT in some time, and it was weird to make this observation:

Chuck's gotten better.

Just try and cast your mind back to when he first started, and you'll maybe recall how bad it used to be. I really feel like he's made a lot of progress, in the sense that he now actually... analyzes games? And he does say some relatively insightful things nowadays. I've got to say, props to you, Mr. Barkley.

On the other hand, everyone else seems to have gotten a lot worse. As if, they liked the Old Chuck's annoying behavior, so they all took it upon themselves to be loud, interrupting, off-topic hecklers if Chuck's going to do actual analysis. It's quite aggravating.

Today: Blog Review

Debriefing from Don't Murder Anyone: Like I said, he wasn't within 'choking range', so he successfully escaped my wrath.

... For now.

Today I'm going to Review my Blog.

That is, I'm going to give my blog some love, since I've been neglecting it for some time, what with work, not murdering anyone, and vacations.

I do like doing resolutions, and they're not hard, but work has been ever-present of late. Now that I've come to a good stopping point with work, it's time to get back to it! More reviews, more resolutions, more over-arching complaints about the world in general - what are blogs for if not cathartic.

Today: Don't Murder Anyone

Debriefing from Notice Clothing: Some of the California ladies, they dress so fine. Some of the California ladies, they dress like idiots. Most all of the men are pretty much dressed as scrubs. I guess that's the extent of the report. Oh, there was one old dude dressed like a classic old southern lady going to the horse races: straw hat, flowery skirt, pink sweater. Really. He had a beard, and everything. Oh California. Am I the only one who is not okay with your crazy?

Today, I will Not Murder Anyone.

And that's a promise! I only have one co-worker (I know you're jealous), but he's sometimes.... annoying.

That's not the word I want to use. But "Not Murder Anyone" means I'm not going to take any rash or drastic action until I give myself a bit of time to calm down from his latest antics. He's lucky he's not within 'choking range' for right now...

Today: Notice Clothing

Debriefing on Finish Strong: I did, but there's always more to do.

Today, I'm going to Notice what People are Wearing.

This may be natural for a lot of people, but I'm typically a failure. I'm going to put emphasis on it, and maybe that will give me more information for future daily goals (i.e. be less of a 'What Not to Wear' candidate).