Today: Being Cheerful

Debriefing from Bath: An easy success.

Today, I'm going to be cheerful.

Three motivations:

1) Went to see a friend perform some folk dances at a Chinese New Year's celebration. I don't know anything about dance, but out of the little kids that performed before my friend (a universal traumatic event for Chinese kids) I could tell who wanted to be out there and who really, really, did not want to be. As for my friend's performance, she was the best - she just looked like she was genuinely having a great time up there! It clearly makes all the difference in a lot of matters.

2) Been playing a lot of Rebuild. Such a great game for a free flash game. And I got to thinking, if it were me out there, I'd do whichever job was needed, but I'd appreciate someone taking on the role of Cheerleader - someone to stay positive when the chips are down.

and 3) It's Monday and oh god it could not get any worse, right?

So. Thinking positive. Staying cheerful. Being the optimism that's desperately needed around these parts.

Barney's Burgers

Just a note to myself to remember NOT to get the shakes anymore. You want those malted shakes, I know, but don't. They're no longer the goodness you remember, and they're more expensive than ever. I don't know about the Solano Barney's, but the one on Shattuck appears to no longer give you the metal cup that contains the rest of your shake? Has anyone else noticed this?

No matter how good the shake, 2/3rds of a glass cannot be worth $4.85!

Today: A Relaxing Bath

Debriefing from Yesterday: It's going to be a hard one to judge, as there's no way to tell if you're fooling someone into thinking you're interested and paying attention. But, I put some good effort towards it, so at least I don't think I came off as bored or angry. So that's steps forward. I'm just still worried about looking like I'm completely drugged up, or worse, condescending. Nobody likes the condescending face.

Today, I'm going to take a relaxing bath.

After all, it's Friday, and I not only deserve to relax, I probably ought to relax. Besides, the tub is clean, I've got a book to read, I'm set to go.

Today: Poker Face

Debrief on Listening, Part II:

Listening is made incredibly difficult when no one else is talking. It's a heavy bout of silence that you have to force yourself not to fill. When there's nothing but silence, there's no follow-up questions to throw out, and it's hard to find footing for an opening question. Perhaps we need to generate even more specific things to ask about. But let's table that for the time being and come back to it with fresh legs later.

Today, I'm going to work on Poker Face.

This is to extend from my previous goal of Being Quiet While Other People Are Talking. That went reasonably well, so let's move on to "Not Making Faces When People Say Dumb Things". I have a penchant for wearing my emotions on my sleeve, as they say. Dumb saying, isn't it? Not my sleeve. My face. I've gotten a few comments that lead me to believe that what I'm thinking is perfectly apparent if you're looking at my face. Thoughts such as: "Why am I still here, and why is this person still talking to me?" or "This is the freaking stupidest conversation I've ever had." So, maybe that's not the best way to 'Be Quiet While Other People Are Talking'.

Poker Face! The art of not giving away what you are thinking, even if the meeting is ridiculous, even you are speaking to someone who probably ought to be picking ticks out of the other primate's hair, even if you're really bored of the current topic. On the other hand, I'll also try to tone down my facial expressions for when I'm really interested in the conversation, and itching to jump in with a question - because that probably looks the same as "I'm waiting for you to stop talking, already!"

I suppose I'll take a look in the mirror later, arrange my face into a half-smile (when I don't smile people often say I look angry. Just a quirk of the face, I guess.) and see if I don't look like I've been popping Vicodin.

Today: Listening, Part II

Yesterday went okay, but today is the new, improved, and well-refined: Listening, Part II!

So maybe there's more to listening that we previously thought. Basically yesterday I mostly succeeded at 'Being Quiet While Other People Talk'. But when I'm not involved in the conversation, I start to drift. We can't define that as 'listening', now can we. So today we're going to expand and develop further, with Asking Follow-up Questions.

Because the other problem with 'Being Quiet While Other People Talk' is that they might think you're uninterested (and you might be), and then they just stop talking. Asking the right questions can not only move the conversation along in a direction you want to know about (again, Espionage Arts Merit Badge!) but it shows that the person you're talking to isn't just spitting words into the void.

This is going to be super hard tonight - having dinner with a friend and her boyfriend that, together, usually contribute about zero to the conversation, while I regale them with endless stupid stories. I'll consider it a success if I glean one or two bits out of her. In her defense (and mine, I guess) she's in graduate school, and when you're in graduate school, speaking from personal experience, there's not much to talk about. There's no funny stories, new happenings, or interesting people. There's just you, the paper that's going nowhere and you don't want to talk about it, your graduation that's going nowhere and you don't want to talk about it, and your research that's going nowhere and you don't want to talk about it. Definitely, for the record, don't ask about graduation. Graduate students don't know, they don't want to speculate, and they don't want to talk about it.

At least I can further the cause of NOT leaping in with a nerdy lecture to educate her on something useless. Wish me luck.

Today: Listening

Today I'm going to work on listening.

Specifically, you know that thing that nerds do that makes us nerds? We leap into conversations to correct people and explain things, and offer smart solutions to problems? Yeah, let me stop that for a day or so and see how that goes. Because I think people just want to talk, sometimes. They're not complaining to me about their job so I can solve their problems. They might just be having idle conversation with me. And anyway, it's not necessarily true that I have just the insight they need to solve their issue. If they were asking for help, or a detailed lecture on the Star Wars Cannonical Universe, well, they'd ask. And if they say something that's slightly incorrect, it's generally not so urgent that I leap in there and point out where they were wrong.

I had this co-worker once, who was super talkative, but when you came away from the conversation, you'd realize that you spent the whole time talking about yourself, and telling him about your hobbies, or teaching him something he didn't know, while not learning a single thing about him. I'm aiming for Part 1 of my Espionage Arts: Intelligence Gathering merit badge.

Begun: Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light

Huge game hiatus due to League of Legends. Perhaps I'll talk about champions sometime, but what you need to know about that game is that it is (like DoTa before it) some kind of huge magnetic time sink. I guess it can't compare to WoW, but I don't play that, and I obviously don't have time!

I barely have time for the hundreds upon hundreds of steam games that are out there, but let me point you to this one - it hovers around the $5 range, and it's a very competent co-op game for two. Don't let the title fool you, they're just using the IP. It's not a Lara Croft proper, it plays more like Diablo 2. Two people run around, solving ancient ruin puzzles, and shooting up the bad guys, getting powerups along the way. Not too long, not too terribly short. Give it a looksee.