Today is not going well so far. Xian has barely booted it up and looked a few empty rooms before Isaac has a hallucination and Xian now refuses to move forward. Nothing helps. We paused to look at kittens on the internet for a bit, but there's still a lot of crying and whining when we resume. The game allows him to save far too often - why even have those save slots? We barely killed even one creature since the last save point!
We reach a window with a live person on the other side, and for a second, I thought that it was going to be another ugly cut scene and that the evening of Dead Space was going to get cut very, very short. But, it turned out to be our pals. Of course the door's jammed, so we can't actually join up. That'd be sensible, staying in a group with all these monsters around. And the last thing we want to do in a game like this is be sensible! So it's through the processing plant for Isaac to get to the other side. Nevermind that it's not meant to be crossed by an actual person. Again, see note on sensibility.
Xian is creeping along a metal walkway when the plant comes online and he freaks out badly. Nothing's attacking, I try to reassure him, but I think both he and I know that a game like Dead Space would only be making this much noise if they wanted to obscure the sound of a monster about to attack. And sure enough, two more inches of creeping along results in dark creepers bursting out and running straight at Isaac. They pretty much give Xian a heart attack - they're pretty fast. He doesn't lose much health, but he says he lost a few years of his life, and can't afford to see that scene again, so he goes back to the last save slot from two moments ago and saves yet again.
Time to get through the processing plant. All the grindy bits you'd expect from an acme cartoon are off, thanks to Ellie, but guess who shows up and turns them all back on? That... one guy... who's out to get you... for some reason that I forget. Whatever his motivations, the plant is on and ready to grind Isaac up to a pulp, and only his stasis and very slow mini-jets are going to get him through. Xian is much better at these timing-or-death things than me, and is vastly less stressed by them. He marches through steadily.
Ok, criticism time, are you ready, Dead Space? I've lavished praise on you for your setpieces and immersiveness, but your weakness seems to be those menus that you've been so good about avoiding. There's not many, but the few that one is forced to deal with are actually pretty obtuse. I like the pictures of items, but the way they are laid out makes it somewhat difficult to determine what you have in inventory vs. what is for sale vs. what you have in storage, and how many slots of each there are, etc. etc. Just a side note.
During this time, Xian has made it all the way through the processing plant without even dying once, killing another one of those gigantic blobs that flings homing bombs along the way. Go figure that you'd have to fight two of those in two consecutive chapters.
We met up with Ellie and Stross and reached chapter 9 (of 15, I looked it up) and things are now progressing more smoothly that Xian has somewhat accepted his fate. He has to repeat one sequence a few times, with a window blowing out very close to where he was standing, and there was another gigantic room full of hunters, but he made it with minimal death. But he called it quits after he had to exit a tram he was travelling in with Ellie and Stross to do some manual repairs. Always a bad idea in Dead Space.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
Mass Effect, Day 1, Part 3
By the time I wake up, the Normandy is already making straight for the Citadel, the seat of galactic government, to make a direct report to the Council. I'm pretty convinced that the vision was of the ancient Prothean race, getting obliterated by a race of sentient machines called Reapers. The Council scoffs at the very notion, AND at my accusations that Saren has gone rogue and is behind the re-appearance of the geth (another race of sentient machines, not actually related to the Reapers, more on that later). They kept the politics part of it mercifully short, but to summarize, the human race has only been on the scene in a faster-than-light sense for 26 years, a baby compared to the other races. And even other races that have been represented by embassies on the Citadel for hundreds of years don't have a seat on the extremely exclusive, important-decision-making Council. Being the American-flavored humans we are, we're pushing hard to get a seat, despite our youth, and a brief war with the turians after First Contact. I imagine we're seen as a bunch of young hotheads by these older races, but aren't we always portrayed that way in sci fi?
At any rate, time to find me some proof. Naturally there's a couple paths that lead to the same thing - me getting more teammates. I hope you weren't expecting something else. I pick up three new team members, all of different races and backgrounds. Hurray for diversity! (Actually the human members of my crew aren't all that open-armed with their welcome, but surely we can work together and overcome our differences, etc etc). Garrus is a turian member of Citadel security (C-Sec) but he's pretty disillusioned with the amount of bureaucracy that is involved with stopping the bad guys, so he signs up with me instead. Wrex is a krogan, a race of warrior-like, somewhat toad-looking creatures. And Tali is the one with the actual evidence; a seldom-seen race called quarians, who wear full enviro-suits, so you can't really see anything about her, except that she likes the color purple, I guess. She has an audio recording that she took out of one of the geth before it self-destructed on her, which clearly has Saren's voice on it, giving orders to geth. The Council is forced to agree to name Saren rogue, and dismays at who could possibly go after him! Why, Shepard, of course! After Shepard helps every last person on this god-forsaken floating fortress find their lost dog and reconcile with their significant others. Gotta love me some sidequests.
I actually messaged Xian late in the night, asking how I change party members (you can only bring two along with you at a time) and he said, "you go back to your ship". I said, "what ship" and that's when we all realized that I was doing too many sidequests and not enough actual game. If you just go back to the Council a second time, they finally promote you to Spectre status, and the human Alliance representatives name you captain of the Normandy - forced retirement for Captain Andersen! Sorry! Anyway, this is how I break games. Hang on while I wrap up all the rest of the missions to be found on the Citadel.
At any rate, time to find me some proof. Naturally there's a couple paths that lead to the same thing - me getting more teammates. I hope you weren't expecting something else. I pick up three new team members, all of different races and backgrounds. Hurray for diversity! (Actually the human members of my crew aren't all that open-armed with their welcome, but surely we can work together and overcome our differences, etc etc). Garrus is a turian member of Citadel security (C-Sec) but he's pretty disillusioned with the amount of bureaucracy that is involved with stopping the bad guys, so he signs up with me instead. Wrex is a krogan, a race of warrior-like, somewhat toad-looking creatures. And Tali is the one with the actual evidence; a seldom-seen race called quarians, who wear full enviro-suits, so you can't really see anything about her, except that she likes the color purple, I guess. She has an audio recording that she took out of one of the geth before it self-destructed on her, which clearly has Saren's voice on it, giving orders to geth. The Council is forced to agree to name Saren rogue, and dismays at who could possibly go after him! Why, Shepard, of course! After Shepard helps every last person on this god-forsaken floating fortress find their lost dog and reconcile with their significant others. Gotta love me some sidequests.
I actually messaged Xian late in the night, asking how I change party members (you can only bring two along with you at a time) and he said, "you go back to your ship". I said, "what ship" and that's when we all realized that I was doing too many sidequests and not enough actual game. If you just go back to the Council a second time, they finally promote you to Spectre status, and the human Alliance representatives name you captain of the Normandy - forced retirement for Captain Andersen! Sorry! Anyway, this is how I break games. Hang on while I wrap up all the rest of the missions to be found on the Citadel.
AC: R, Day 6
That's it, I've got too many games on my plate to let this linger. To the endgame, my fellow assassins, and make it snappy.
Sorry, outlying countryside, I don't have time to defend all of you from Templars anymore. Time to abuse my assassin signals and plow headlong to the final confrontation. Make it rain, my brethren. Make it rain... arrows. When we left off, we had another Altair memory sequence to run through (still haven't figured out how Ezio is seeing these without... an Animus, or something). Altair is now 62 (isn't that terribly ancient for back then?) and methodically stirring a rebellion against the same man who usurped him nearly 40 years ago now. Altair has really learned patience, but is this really the time for it? This dude ruined the order with 40 years of poor rule, and Altair only just now decides to do something about it? Well, whatever his motives, he just marches in and all the real assassins recognize his awesomeness and flock to his cause. Also, it's become clear that the Order has fallen from glory under crap leadership, so it's time for mutiny. Altair is so old, you can't do much aside from walk implacably through Masayaf while your new converts destroy everything in your path. I lost 100% synch for "not killing anyone" because I didn't realize that using the assassin signals counted as ME killing someone. Ah well. Altair walks straight up to the traitor (I forget how to spell his name) and reveals that the Apple he's been studying so intently has basically told him all about the past and future, and punctuates this point by pulling out the hidden pistol and murdering his enemy at twenty paces. Nice shot, Altair. Nice anachronism, too.
Back in Ezio's timeline, I'm looking for a way to set sail for Manuel's hidden city, where he's supposedly raising an army against the sultan. But the law enforcement in Constantinople has blocked off all water routes out of the city, by simple expedient of raising a massive chain across the mouth of the port. Sorry, dudes, but this does not deter Ezio Auditore. I roll up to the base of the chain and blow it to high hell with a massive bomb, provided by Yusuf. And then I parkour myself through the flaming wreckage of every boat in the harbor to casually hop onto mine as it saunters out of port. Do boats saunter? Ezio's does. Anyway. Manual has created an entire underground city for his rebellion force, and they're busily amassing guns - my not-quite-traitor friend (the one I mostly accidentally killed before) was providing them with fake weapons, but the gunpower, a spy inside the city tells me, is plenty real enough. That's all I need to hear, lady spy. I'm Ezio. I also blow this city to bloody smithereens, and then kill Manuel as he tries to flee. Prince Ahmet reveals himself as a Templar leader, and makes threats against Sofia (my bookkeeping lady friend!) as he sails back to Constantinople. I give chase, taking a look at the final Masayaf key memory as we sail.
The memory is of an ancient Altair (92!) who is now the venerable leader of the assassins, sending off Marco Polo with a bit of casual murder in the streets of Masayaf. I don't know, either, it's not explained very well. I guess some pirate raiders were trying to start something? I couldn't tell you. All I know is, Altair is way too old to fight, so he just uses the powers of the Apple to obliterate everything in his path and then affably sees off Marco Polo and his family on their way back to Venice via Constantinople. Before Marco leaves, Altair hands him the Masayaf keys to hide.
Back in Ezio's Constantinople, I have all the keys, but Ahmet has Sofia. During the course of the game, Ubisoft has made a solid 180 from it's view on women in the last game (different writers, I suppose) and now Ezio is "a strong admirer" of Sofia's "strong will and noble character". Trust me, if you played the last two, this is a very different Ezio. I guess old age has brought him a modicum of respect for women? It seems so unlikely. Anyway. Ezio exchanged the keys for Sofia's life, and we get into another chariot fight, as with the one at the beginning of the game. You had to figure you wouldn't get out without another. This time, to spice it up, Ezio pulls his parachute and does some parasailing/stabbing, which should be the next Olympic sport.
To wrap things up, Sofia and Ezio travel to Masayaf and open that fateful door, which turns out to hold the very last memory key, of Altair seeing off his son, hiding the apple in the tomb, and putting himself in his final resting place. Ezio looks right at the apple, and then speaks into the silence. "I don't know how you are hearing this, Desmond, but I know that you are listening," he says. He understands that he's merely a conduit for some kind of message to someone named Desmond, and he also knows that his part in this story is over. It's time for Ezio to settle down and do that family stuff that he's rightfully earned. He seals the apple back up, and Desmond sees another part of that 'message' we've been talking about - the ancient civilization we've been getting hints of realizes the approach of a world-ending calamity and creates six secret research facilities dedicated to the survival of the two races, but nothing really works. Desmond wakes up after this and announces that he knows where his group needs to go next. As usual, nothing is explained, and the incredibly long credits roll. Sorry, I guess, if you thought something was going to be "Revealed". You were misled by the title.
Sorry, outlying countryside, I don't have time to defend all of you from Templars anymore. Time to abuse my assassin signals and plow headlong to the final confrontation. Make it rain, my brethren. Make it rain... arrows. When we left off, we had another Altair memory sequence to run through (still haven't figured out how Ezio is seeing these without... an Animus, or something). Altair is now 62 (isn't that terribly ancient for back then?) and methodically stirring a rebellion against the same man who usurped him nearly 40 years ago now. Altair has really learned patience, but is this really the time for it? This dude ruined the order with 40 years of poor rule, and Altair only just now decides to do something about it? Well, whatever his motives, he just marches in and all the real assassins recognize his awesomeness and flock to his cause. Also, it's become clear that the Order has fallen from glory under crap leadership, so it's time for mutiny. Altair is so old, you can't do much aside from walk implacably through Masayaf while your new converts destroy everything in your path. I lost 100% synch for "not killing anyone" because I didn't realize that using the assassin signals counted as ME killing someone. Ah well. Altair walks straight up to the traitor (I forget how to spell his name) and reveals that the Apple he's been studying so intently has basically told him all about the past and future, and punctuates this point by pulling out the hidden pistol and murdering his enemy at twenty paces. Nice shot, Altair. Nice anachronism, too.
Back in Ezio's timeline, I'm looking for a way to set sail for Manuel's hidden city, where he's supposedly raising an army against the sultan. But the law enforcement in Constantinople has blocked off all water routes out of the city, by simple expedient of raising a massive chain across the mouth of the port. Sorry, dudes, but this does not deter Ezio Auditore. I roll up to the base of the chain and blow it to high hell with a massive bomb, provided by Yusuf. And then I parkour myself through the flaming wreckage of every boat in the harbor to casually hop onto mine as it saunters out of port. Do boats saunter? Ezio's does. Anyway. Manual has created an entire underground city for his rebellion force, and they're busily amassing guns - my not-quite-traitor friend (the one I mostly accidentally killed before) was providing them with fake weapons, but the gunpower, a spy inside the city tells me, is plenty real enough. That's all I need to hear, lady spy. I'm Ezio. I also blow this city to bloody smithereens, and then kill Manuel as he tries to flee. Prince Ahmet reveals himself as a Templar leader, and makes threats against Sofia (my bookkeeping lady friend!) as he sails back to Constantinople. I give chase, taking a look at the final Masayaf key memory as we sail.
The memory is of an ancient Altair (92!) who is now the venerable leader of the assassins, sending off Marco Polo with a bit of casual murder in the streets of Masayaf. I don't know, either, it's not explained very well. I guess some pirate raiders were trying to start something? I couldn't tell you. All I know is, Altair is way too old to fight, so he just uses the powers of the Apple to obliterate everything in his path and then affably sees off Marco Polo and his family on their way back to Venice via Constantinople. Before Marco leaves, Altair hands him the Masayaf keys to hide.
Back in Ezio's Constantinople, I have all the keys, but Ahmet has Sofia. During the course of the game, Ubisoft has made a solid 180 from it's view on women in the last game (different writers, I suppose) and now Ezio is "a strong admirer" of Sofia's "strong will and noble character". Trust me, if you played the last two, this is a very different Ezio. I guess old age has brought him a modicum of respect for women? It seems so unlikely. Anyway. Ezio exchanged the keys for Sofia's life, and we get into another chariot fight, as with the one at the beginning of the game. You had to figure you wouldn't get out without another. This time, to spice it up, Ezio pulls his parachute and does some parasailing/stabbing, which should be the next Olympic sport.
To wrap things up, Sofia and Ezio travel to Masayaf and open that fateful door, which turns out to hold the very last memory key, of Altair seeing off his son, hiding the apple in the tomb, and putting himself in his final resting place. Ezio looks right at the apple, and then speaks into the silence. "I don't know how you are hearing this, Desmond, but I know that you are listening," he says. He understands that he's merely a conduit for some kind of message to someone named Desmond, and he also knows that his part in this story is over. It's time for Ezio to settle down and do that family stuff that he's rightfully earned. He seals the apple back up, and Desmond sees another part of that 'message' we've been talking about - the ancient civilization we've been getting hints of realizes the approach of a world-ending calamity and creates six secret research facilities dedicated to the survival of the two races, but nothing really works. Desmond wakes up after this and announces that he knows where his group needs to go next. As usual, nothing is explained, and the incredibly long credits roll. Sorry, I guess, if you thought something was going to be "Revealed". You were misled by the title.
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