Three dances per star? What is this, DWTS, or the slave pens?
Hope Solo
Good intensity in her opening paso, but the judges somehow did not care for it. 7-7-7
Tango Round: Looked alright, though the entrance and exits to the lifts weren't pro-level, as Carrie Ann pointed out. There was renewed chippiness with the judges. Sigh. An annoyed 8-8-8 from the judges.
JR Martinez
Well, the bar is high, and he twisted his ankle during the week, so things aren't going so well right off the bat. Even I noticed a distinct drop-off in performance (his butt stuck out awkwardly a lot), even though he was bringing the intensity, and Karina can naturally channel Catherine Zeta Jones. The judges were convinced the weak ankle affected his ability to put his body in the right postures. 8-7-8
Tango Round: I think that grimace is not an affectation of intensity for the dance. I think he is genuinely in agony from some of those moves. That thing could need medical attention, yo. And contrary to his uplifting message of positivity in the video, he was very frustrated by that limitation there. He is human, after all :) Go ice those ankles, son. And go put on some clothes, Karina. That body stocking is not a real outfit. 9-9-9
Rob Kardashian
Rob said in the video that he's the last man in the competition aside from JR, and that's a lot of competition. Not to fear, he's got his secret weapon - Kardashian-butt! He doesn't look like the pro that some of the past winners look like at Week 9 of DWTS, but he looks like a good dancer, and that salsa looked like a good time on the dance floor, which is the whole point. Huge inflatable rainbow and tiny carnival float, little bit tacky, though. Not your fault, Rob - must have been that one bad designer I've been complaining about all season. Nobody is gonna dock you points for that. 10-9-9
Tango Round: You know what seemed different about that one? It seemed like they were really working together. A very strong, singular unit putting out a great-looking dance. 9-9-9
Ricki Lake
Why does Ricki look like Big Bird? I thought, when she came down the stairs at the opening, that her song would have some kind of Big Bird tie-in, but no. It's just a normal salsa. I think it had more content than Robs, but feathers were flying off her Big Bird costume by the end and sticking all over the floor and Derek's hair, so I couldn't concentrate. 10-10-10 Derek said he felt like an egg that she had laid, but that's not a very nice thing to imply, Derek.
Tango Round: That one looked the most like the 'example' tango the professionals gave, but she seemed a touch apprehensive before her lifts. 9-10-10
Cha-Cha Relay
I repeat myself, Ricki's outfits are getting really small. They show off really well-posed legs.
Hope is not a crsip as Ricki, but she's working those frilly pants to the best of her ability. How come JR is basically wearing a sweatshirt? He was grimacing again - that man is really hurt. Rob showed off some snappy moves; I think he's really getting the idea.
Bruno finally gave props and reminded everyone that they've really put the stars through the wringer here, everybody did a really admirable job for non-professionals, and did a lot of work to put on a good show.
Totals: Hope 49, JR 56, Ricki 67, Rob 65
Results show: Hope got kicked off - it's only to be expected.
