David Arquette
Video: Kym is ridiculously afraid of vampires? I'm not sure why she freaks out when David bites her. Haha. He also joked that if Kym can get his hips moving, she's the magician.
Outfit: He's Houdini, and she's a brunette magician's assistant?
Dance: Huhn, he did manage a few tricks. They were subtle, so you actually had to watch for them. But his dancing is still awkward - I have a friend who is musical enough, she knows how to count, but she's not what we'd call "musical". Like she doesn't feel the music, so she's doing moves to her internal counting system, and not to the music. That's how David seems to dance. I appreciate magic tricks, though.
Critique: Pretty positive (maybe they're apologetic for last week, realizing they're too critical on celebrities). They bleeped Bruno calling Carrie Ann a pussy (she's dressed up as a black cat). They all praised him for great improvement, and decrease in manic flailing. 8-8-8
JR Martinez
Video: (Do you see Carson in the audience? This man is some kind of DWTS super-fan!) Somehow, tango is not JR strong suit, and Karina is ultra pissed all week when he's not getting it. JR is so great with people, though - he doesn't escalate the fight, he just stops everything and says: "we need hugs now. Let's all stop and have hugs." And that calms down the argument immediately and defuses the situation. Somehow I don't think he learned that in the army?
Outfits: Aw, Karina. This is a nightmare, even for Halloween. You could have probably been anything, and a crazy skeleton lady was not necessary. They snuck some spangles onto JR's custodian / ghostbusters uniform
Dance: Something funny went on at the beginning, and he never seemed to quite get over it. Technique and musicality seemed alright, but occasionally the music slipped out from under them, because the song itself did not suit the tango. We're so used to angry and passion-charged tangos, this ghostly romp didn't seem effective. Not their fault.
Critique: Len flat out said that JR raised his own bar too high! Whelp, that's what you get, you overachiever! 9-8-8 Remarkably close to David Arquette!
Nancy Grace
Video: Nancy: "Are you trying to say I'm not fun!" Tristan: "I'm trying to say... a sentence."
Outfits: Kinda cute, devil-themed.
Dance: WTF, NANCY. What was that beginning. You are not keeping up with "Devil Went Down to Georgia" in your jive at all! Did you forget bits? What happened here?
Critique: She kept a smile on her face throughout the dance, and then the critique. Is this her extremely tough exterior from being a prosecutor? What a skill that is. Len all but said she ought to go home. But I get the sense that there is some kind of voting cadre keeping her in it all this time. 7-7-7 You guys should probably have given her lower scores, it was a super mess. I think Tristan isn't having much success getting her whipped into shape. It occurs to me, watching the recap, that she looks like she's a happy newbie dancer who's having a great time (what the show was always supposed to be about) where sometimes the winner of DWTS just plain looks like a professional dancer.
Rob Kardashian
Video: Cheryl is apparently afraid of everything in the world, so Rob gets some much-needed revenge by pranking her in several different ways throughout the week. It may have backfired, because she decided that if he has time and energy for pranks, his tango better be awesome.
Outfits: They were Morticia and Whats His Name from the Addams family.
Dance: Actually, that was no good. I thought at the beginning of the dance that they looked like the couple from the movie, and it would be awesome because those two actually tango'd in the movie, but tangoing to the theme song instead of real tango music made it really un-tango-like.
Critique: Well, the judges loved it. Footwork and manliness, they cited. 9-8-8
Ricki Lake
Video: Ricki has injured her ribs, and that is bad for the paso, where you do a lot of torso-stretching. I guess it would be bad for any dance. But she's a competitor, like I said last week. She doesn't talk about 'toughing it out' or whine about how much it hurts. She says stuff like "this is not a good time to be injured" presumably followed by a "just cut them out! I have a competition to win!" That's a winner's attitude, Ricki, you go. Although I suppose Derek uuber-competitive nature could be rubbing off on his partners somehow.
Outfits: Very good. She was Little Red Riding Hood, and was sucked into a teensy corset. She's tiny already!
Dance: Very clean, as usual.
Critique: Very positive, as usual. 9-9-9
Hope Solo
Video: HAHA amazing. Maks is a little hurt, so he brought someone else in to dance with Hope for about a day. She (in continuing theme of not being PC when talking) basically said that the new partner was way better than Maks' temperamental nature, and she learned the routine faster than ever. And then Maks came back to yell at the both of them. I can only cross my fingers and hope that when the season is over, she doesn't throw him under the bus verbally. He doesn't take well to being bus-thrown. Remember, Hope: "I had a great time, it was a great experience, and I loved working with Maks." End quote.
Outfits: Flattering outfit for Hope, no shirt for Maks. We can't ask for more, really.
Dance: Hope, still not the best. But at least the routine was fun and technically advanced? And having finally learned the routine solidly first, she was able to get more details in and look more relaxed.
Critique: Positive, but again, that's more likely trepidation in face of minefield. 8-8-8
Team Tango: David Arquette, Nancy Grace, and JR Martinez
Outfits: Awesome. Dressed as crazy people and dancing to "Disturbia". Fun all around.
Nancy: She really held her own in the unison parts! I say that because she's the only celeb woman, next to Karina and Kym. You'll notice that Nancy is one of the only folks who doesn't complain about being fat, ugly, plain, or old, where celebs always play those angles for votes and sympathy. Nope. Nancy's holding up well for a 50+ lady, thanks. her individual part was alright, I think tango is pretty simple, with clear beats and all that. It kind of looked like she bobbled something, though. And she could have taken the chance to see exactly what the pro ladies were doing when they do the same moves - you know, flick her hair, twist her hips, that kind of thing.
David: After David was giving JR some basic pointers about posture, he ended up squishing his frame down in an unattractive way. But his solo was just fine otherwise. He's done tango before, and Kym is an excellent tango partner.
JR: Karina and JR probably had the best choreography for their solo section, even if it consisted of a lot of walking back and forth. He squished his stance on the kick, though.
Critique: Wow, they did not like the individual parts. Not. At. All. None of them. The unison parts, they loved, but the other parts, wow. Whew. Angry. 8-7-8 for all.
Team Paso: Ricki Lake, Rob Kardashian, and Hope Solo
Video: Rob is going to benefit from being the only celeb man. Especially Maks and Derek, who slapped him around - "clench ass, squeeze abs! Clench ass! Squeeze abs!" There was a long moment of awkward as Hope and Maks fought, like, for real domestic violence fought. Eventually Maks stormed out and Derek awkwardly offered to practice with Hope for a bit. Maks must be utterly frustrated out of his mind with Hope. Still, awkward.
Outfits: Gravediggers and ghosts? Executioners and Snow Whites? Not sure, but the song is Evanescence's "Wake Me Up"
Rob: At the beginning of his solo, you could see his mouth, counting. And was there a little bobble there? He got it together and delivered a paso, though.
Hope: Hate relationships actually make paso's good, so it was good, but just a touch of awkward was still in there.
Ricki: Her dark yet prim look isn't as paso as the other two ladies, fraught with emotion, but that kind of minor complaint really shouldn't even count against her. The dance was clean (again. I say that about her and Derek a lot.)
Critique: Very excited. It was an exciting dance! 9-8-9
Results show featured not only Justin Beiber, but Carson Kressley as a guest reporter ("HI! I'm still here! I won't go home!") and Boyz 2 Men, singing with Justin Beiber. David got sent home. Sad!
