Maria Menounous: She is a host of Extra, and well-proportioned for DWTS outfits. Always a good call. She needs Derek to bring her out of her shell more, ("open up the sex pot," Bruno said) because her technique and attention to detail seemed strong, she just needed some more attack / attitude. DWTS, for its part, takes some bold tech-y strides with live twitter comments and fancy ballroom lighting gymnastics. Oh, and finally, she has the craziest laugh. They made a small montage of it during the video, but maybe one can just youtube up something since she's on tv so much. It. Is. Funny. 7-7-7
Jack Wagner: I do not know who this person is. At all. His bio says he's a soap opera star and singer, but these are things I do not know about. He also began lying down and doing kicks, so that always says to me that something bad is going on. But, the judges liked it, for reasons unknown to me. Personally, I'd save those eights - it's still pretty early in the night. 8-7-8
Donald Driver: In case you do not know, Donald Driver plays for the Green Bay Packers at wide receiver. He is apparently more of a DWTS veteran than Peta (his partner) since she only got one show last season (as the "Peta" half of "Meta and Peta," unfortunately for her) and he's been watching since season one. The judges commented that his eagerness may have contributed to a slightly hectic performance, but I (and the crowd) loved it. It seemed crisp and fast and cool. And Peta was pulling out all the stops to stay longer this season, with the nonexistant outfit and bangles. Ok, full disclosure, I'm rooting for Donald, as usual. But come on, judges. That last guy got some eights. 7-7-7
Gavin Degraw: I've heard of Gavin Degraw, but seeing him try to dance, well... Karina's got her work cut out for her. I have fullest confidence in her, though. It's a big difference from JR, though, stay cognizant, Karina! Gavin finally acknowledges what we've been thinking all these seasons, too: standing between Karina and Brooke is a "pretty-sandwich". 7-6-7
Roshon Fegan: Here's a secret. Ok, it's not so secret. ABC is owned by Disney. And sometimes, Disney gets a little ahead of itself when marketing future stars. For example, I've never heard of Roshon Fegan. I'm sure he's really big on the Disney channel these days, but his confidence and swagger seem to indicate that he's really big... inside his own imagination. Not that I don't like him, I do. I'm just saying, Disney places their own stars in DWTS sometimes, and they forget that the middle-aged ladies that are the shows main viewership (and football fans in secret) do not vote for these kids. Sorry. 8-7-8
Sherri Shephard: See, I don't watch 'The View' either, so we will see who gets more votes on this show, her or Roshon. Because come on, Roshon already dances and sings and acts. Sherri sits in a chair on a talk show. She's funny, though. And she can really move that package, to be frank. 8-7-8
Melissa Gilbert: She was a kid star on "Little House on the Prairie," which I have never seen. She is one of those ladies that is on the show because she's "been going through some things" which is, I suppose, good inspiration for other ladies who are "going through some things." But she has a ways to go, and Maks won't be easy on her until then. 7-6-7
William Levy: Screams burst out when William was introduced. Again, I do not know this person (he's a tela novella star), but it seems the ladies in the ballroom all came to ogle them some William Levy. It was deafening, do you get me? This man was so hot, Tom cheekily warned the judges away from criticism due to threat of ugly mob. He needn't have worried, because Carrie Ann's comment was "Thank you, ABC, for my job," while fanning herself, a sentiment which Brooke and Cheryl echoed, and Bruno's criticism consisted of "you're overdressed." William took all the jokes quite well - he seems like a nice guy. Just... covered in screaming ladies all the time. Wonder how his wife survives all that. 8-8-8
Martina Navratilova: Tennis queen, dancing noob. I suppose we'd expect it to be difficult for her, but come on, Martina! You're competitive - shake what your mamma gave you, and all that. If huge ungainly football players can do it, so can you! 7-6-7
Katherine Jenkins: She's an opera singer from England, and my guess is that she's super popular over there, with best-selling records and huge shows. She's also incredibly adorable, so this is where my theory came from - it would be unfair if she competed in England. Maybe they realized this after Nicole Sherzinger? I should look it up. I'll put my findings at the bottom of the post. As for the dancing, she looks exquisite in the dress, and the dancing is similarly exquisite. 9-8-9
Gladys Knight: Haha, so funny. Gladys introduced herself and let us in on a secret: she wanted to dance with the Pips, all those years, and they plain did not let her, due to Two Left Feet Syndrome. Tristan introduced himself as the "hot one." He's so funny and adorable, especially how none of us can understand his english. Gladys dances a little bit like an old lady, but an old lady with sass, as you might expect. 8-7-8
Jaleel White: He's Urkel, from Family Matters, don't you know? More importantly than Urkel, do you remember the Steve/Stephan saga at the crazy end? The man unexpectedly transformed on the show's producers from scrawny dweeb to model-quality hunk after puberty. Imagine their surprise. And they tried to take advantage, but nothing takes advantage of good looks, charm, and smoothness better than DWTS. Wish this had been around back then! It would've saved him from hosting a weird game show on SyFy? At any rate, the dance was smooth like butter, and Kym leaped onto him after the music was over, so excited to have a contender she couldn't contain herself. 9-8-9
Low-Down on British DWTS: It's called Strictly Come Dancing. What a name! Bruno and Len are also judges on that show, and it airs on Saturdays, so the two of them actually fly to Hollywood from London every week. Crazy! I hope their airplane shields them from the excess radiation? They have Christmas specials and they donate a lot of their proceeds to charities, but they've had fewer seasons in all, because they only run in the falls. I took a look at their past lineups, and didn't see any prominent American celebrities, but that doesn't disprove my theory. Here's other crazy food for thought, though. Carrie Ann seems to have some sense in her head and doesn't fly back and forth all over the world, so they need a different female judge. For a long time it was someone named Arlene Phillips, a choreographer from the West End. But she was dropped in a recent season for, wait for it, the celebrity who won season 5! Weird, eh?
