What an 80s outfit you have on, Brooke. And her hair is carefully big. What a throwback.
Hope Solo
Video: Carrie Ann opened the video by suggesting Hope stick to feeling the music and being sexy, and her natural athleticism will carry her through. She must have missed last week's video, where Hope flat-out said that she needs to practice til' it's perfect, and there's no other way for her to learn. It WAS quite the platonic foxtrot, last week. Tango is about hate and love, so hopefully she can quickly learn to channel the 'fight' to 'sexy'.
Outfit: Excellent coat-dress, but why the little back clutch? Maks coat is pretty great, and Hope's dress is very Debbie Gibson? 80's Madonna?
Dance: I said before that Hope's idea of "sexy" involves too much of a weird face. Weird face has been fixed, but her new concept of sexy involves a lot of disdainful sashaying and head tossing. Also, Len is not going to like all this time wasted on storyline. If I could give my advice, I'd say she needs to watch some professionals and have Maks explain what, precisely and specifically, is involved in "sexy".
Critique: Judges fight, already? Their advice is completely garbled when they talk over each other like that.
Interview: It's so hard to come up with those perfect little quips that occasionally happen with Maks. Brooke tried, with a "Maks calls your relationship love-love, not love-hate. How would you characterize it?" but neither of them had a really snippy thing to say. Maybe later, at the confession booth.
Conclusion: You're sexy, Hope! Believe in it! Didn't you do the 'Bodies' issue of ESPN the magazine? 8-8-8
Carson Kressley
Video: Come on, Carson, it's come-back week! Jive is well suited to your manic style, but you're just so uncoordinated.
Outfit: Quite insane. Terribly bright. Involved pom-poms.
Dance: Uncoordinated, as I said. And, he seems to forget his stuff a lot - it's like a neon flashing, pom-pom-covered, fluorescent car wreck. Carrie Ann was covering her eyes by the end.
Critique: They still complemented his cheerful and entertaining attitude, which is always bad - if a person is a contender, they talk about things they can improve, now about how "great it is to have such an entertaining personality on the show" or "I really admire you for coming out here and giving it your all". And you know it's getting serious when they start to talking about how "it's week 5, it's time to start bringing it or going home".
Interview: Brooke was surprised he didn't come out in the full cheerleading skirt and poms, and he said: "maybe next week." So, a reason to vote for him!
Conclusion: It's that time of the season when Carson has something to be worried about. 6-6-7
Nancy Grace
Video: Catty week between Nancy Grace and her partner Tristan. She must be hard to deal with - he says she makes up her mind about what things are before he's even finished a sentence. And he's trying to teach her something she knows nothing about! I assume it's a prosecutor thing, to want to take someone's words and then sound like you know what you're talking about, but come on, Nancy. Zip up and learn, as Len is fond of saying.
Outfit: Cute, actually. Huge curly hair extensions made her look like she was 17 and at prom in 1987.
Dance: It looked technically advanced, and smooth, but still without the flair of an actress.
Critique: Carrie Ann hates it when people aren't sexy-towne in their rumbas. I know Carrie Ann wants to get across that she wants to feel the emotional connection, but she didn't really... say that in so many words. I hope Nancy and Tristan caught what she meant and not what she said.
Interview: Brooke asked them about their interaction, and Nancy said it was fine and Tristan "just needs to listen to my dance suggestions! But no, he keeps thinking he's the dancer here."
Conclusions: So, she's cuter and more fun than you thought she was. 7-7-8
JR Martinez
Video: He's Latin-ish, so he's taking advantage. He's bringing the "Jose Renee" part of JR to the floor.
Outfit: Miami-flavored.
Dance: Great song for a party dance like the salsa. But, as he said in the video, he sometimes waggles his body, but forgets where his feet are. She did make him do some samba rolls, which were .... okay. All in all, though, the spirit of party was well on display - he really threw it down.
Critique: Bruno said that some woman almost threw herself off the balcony to get to him. Carrie Ann just made a squealie noise. That's solid praise.
Interview: "Karina threw everything at you, even samba rolls!" "And props. She often throws props."
Conclusion: He knows how to dig deep, that is so vital for this competition. 9-9-10
Rob Kardashian
Video: Clearly it's time to take everything you've learned from Cheryl and fly, Rob! Take the lead and be a manly Rob! They brought in Romeo from last season (a friend of Rob's from USC), who actually had a pretty good rumba with Chelsea (Romeo's best dance, let's not get into his fun yet weird stalking of Chelsea). Romeo may be just what Rob needs - some instruction on being completely brash, bold, and masculine, in a sensual dance like the rumba, and take control of the dance, and the girl.
Outfit: Standard. Cheryl kinda looked somewhat jungle-Cheryl.
Dance: Rob took some tips from Romeo, but he seemed to interpret some of his intensity as "looking down". Technique solid as usual (it's Cheryl, duh!) and the performance aspect is on the rise.
Critique: All three of them complemented him on coming out of Cheryl's shadow, and Carrie Ann mentioned how he's rapidly gaining ground in the competition. I told you, Carrie Ann - all Cheryl needs is time.
Interview: "We've asked you to over come your shyness, and then to learn how to make love on the dance floor - are you worried about what DWTS is going to ask of you next?" "Just don't ask me to take off my shirt yet."
Conclusion: Like I've said before, just a matter of time... 9-8-8
Chaz Bono
Video: They complemented his Paso from last week, but Paso is a pretty easy dance for the guy. Samba is going to be nearly impossible. But Lacey brings out the big guns (literally?), her dad, Buddy Schwimmer. Buddy is a renowned dance coach, and he's just as big as Chaz around the middle. Not only does he show Chaz how to bust a groove, he shows Chaz that big dudes not only can shake it, they "have more to shake."
Outfit: Another 80s prom theme set of outfits. Lacey looks like a rainbow cupcake.
Dance: It seemed to me to have way more content than his usual stuff. It also had a good amount of fun party atmosphere. Thanks, Buddy Schwimmer!
Critique: I said earlier, it's not super good when the judges go with "I appreciate you coming out here and trying" instead of things they can actually do to improve. It means the judges want you gone.
Interview: I was mostly distracted by that 80s picture of Brooke. She was gently displeased in a politically correct way. You're a good host, Brooke.
Conclusion: Best dance for Chaz -can Buddy Schwimmer come in every week? 8-9-8 (he got more points than Hope?)
David Arquette
Video: The video of the paso from last week reminded me that David is a little too careful with it, thinking about all his moves with that focused / terrified look on his face. He finally thinks things are 'clicking' this week, so hopefully he can learn the routine solid, and then fret about it less. He's also just about completely sobered up (sweat it out!) and his director/producer self is taking control, giving Kym suggestions (!) for the choreography. And doing some quality Len impressions to boot. Remarkable.
Outfit: Bad boy 80s! David is one of the few people who was in high school during that era - he remembers the "Bad" and spraypaint / breakdance culture. I think he's wearing just enough eyeliner, too.
Dance: Aha! I was right! He finally looks like he's concentrating less on remembering the moves and just cramming passion and aggression (and acting) into it instead. It was a pretty tame routine, though.
Critique: High praise from Len, and his daughter in the audience practically lost it. I wonder if Courtney Cox covers her ears / eyes when Bruno gives critiques. Judges fight drowned out most of what Carrie Ann is trying to say. Something about working on musicality.
Interview: Tom had to cut off the judges with "Now, it is my turn to talk." Just to keep things clear. Brooke's questions were answered with total gibberish as David continues to act a bit drunk.
Conclusion: He's recovering. I hope. It is, after all, more important than a dance competition. 8-9-8.
Ricki Lake
Video: Ricki's losing weight fast. That picture of her as chubby Tracy Turnblad in 1987 featured John Waters, who stopped by at practice. He has not changed his look at all - anyone else who looked like that would be a child molester suspect on CSI.
Outfit: Terrible. There must be one awful outfit-maker on this show, and Ricki gets that person once in a while. Those ruffles weren't very 80s, and they certainly weren't very flattering. To top it all off, you couldn't see the movement of her legs. She even complained herself that she looked ridiculous - despite the fact that she looks better now, thirty years later.
Dance: Like I said, couldn't see much of what she was doing underneath that stupid curtain.
Critique: Bruno and Carrie Ann actively hated the Roger Rabbit and Running Man moves. Speculation on why Derek put it in the dance included hairspray interfering with brain cells, and Derek being in diapers during the 80s. Len tried to say "No one likes funk like I do, but not in the foxtrot." But he couldn't finish over the guffaws of laughter.
Interview: Ricki admitted to throwing in those two 80s moves out of her own 80s repertoire (since Derek has none) and then messing up the move, and quickly said that all the dancing in the future would be choreographed by Derek alone.
Conclusion: Stop getting that outfit-maker, Ricki. Also, Roger Rabbit probably doesn't have a place in foxtrot... 8-8-8
