First out of the gate was Rob Kardashian, and like I told you before, he's going to get better by leaps and bounds. He's partnered with Cheryl, dude. This week, he's made great strides in being the man in charge of the dance, and bringing some presence to the stage. He still dances like a hard-working amateur, but I assure you, it is but a matter a time. It's nice to see a real amateur do good, not just an actor (natural showmanship) or an athlete (natural body control) or singer (natural musicality). I'm rooting for Rob. (8-8-8)
Chynna danced to her own song ("Hold On") and is well suited to the rumba. She's got great lines (20-something body, remember!) and really got the message through body language, which is huge extra points in the rumba, on "personal story" night. Also, 20-something body! Smoking. (8-9-9)
Chaz seemed to display musicality to my eyes, but the judges were more of the opinion that he didn't do much dancing in his rumba. (6-6-6)
Kristin's assets were highlighted to the max by her and Mark's routine. That is, sex sells! Shake it, white girl. (8-8-8)
Carson, again, is my favorite. He even put on his semi-serious face for this tango, and the judges were again impressed at how he brings the sass and the brass. That is, how he's both masculine and feminine in the same dance. He even had decent technique this time! All that practice is paying off, honeys! I knew it would be fabulous when he came out in a black and white suit, in a metaphor for coming out of the closet and becoming comfortable with his (incredibly fabulous) self. And stealing Anna's shoes. So good. (8-7-8)
J.R. continues to impress with a silky smooth rumba that didn't seem to have much to do outwardly with the military, but I suppose you could read into it a bit more. What was obvious was how excellently JR can rumba down. (9-8-9)
Nancy, going right after JR, looks like she needs some of that smoothness and ability to fully extend. She's the only one who did a waltz? I wonder how she'd do with a rumba. (7-7-7)
Ricki is mercifully in an excellent outfit. So much better, words can't even contain my happiness. Seriously, I can look at this one all night. Except for maybe the end of the routine, which (and this has happened before) was pushing the line on Too Sexy. But for real. Ricki hair and outfit: Perfect. Made that dance excellent. (9-9-9)
Hope, on the other hand, has suddenly caught the 'bad outfit' bug. Well, the outfit... can be forgiven, but the makeup was strong, and accentuated the weird way Hope makes what she thinks is a 'sexy face'. Don't purse your lips like that, Hope, you are much better-looking when you smile. Maks seems to have plain out made her learn a lapdance to convince her she's sexy. This will hopefully pay off in future latin routines. (8-8-8)
Lastly, David put together a competent rumba. Rumba is good for actors, I think, because emotion is more important than precision or control. (8-8-8), that's a really good score for David!
Results Show:
JR - Ooohhh, now that I see it more, it's about a letter that a soldier sends home when he doesn't make it. Emotional and sad.
Hope - You thought I was stretching it with that comment? After the dance, in confessional, Maks made her repeat the phrase "I feel sexy" over and over, until, exasperated, she said "I feel like sex on a stick!" (which, if you haven't been around all these seasons, is one of Maks favorite ways to describe himself)
Aha, that was Jay Cutler I espied getting cameo shots during Kristin's performance. I checked el wiki, seems they are ex-fiance's. Oh, TMZ, why don't you keep me informed of this nonsense. Oh yeah, that's right, it's because I don't watch you, TMZ. At any rate, next week, Jay will also be on live TV in the Monday night slot, always a moral conflict for me, but more a physical conflict with him in that case. Can't come see Kristin next week, eh, Jay? Unfortunately for Kristin, this cameo is not going to up her likability.
Mary J. Blige and Estelle both look older than I imagine them in my head.
Wow, that's really Chubby Checker? How does he still fit into those tight jeans? Haha, he's doing the twist with Len. It's so old out there on the dance floor, everyone.
Kristin and Mark were eliminated. Sorry, Mark. Not the first time it's happened to you. Either it's because
1) Mark himself can sometimes be a little cocksure
2) They fall into a small niche of "they got a high score, they'll be fine. I'll vote for someone else"
3) The voting constituency is conservative older ladies. They'll vote for Nancy Grace, but not for the flashy, sexy, arrogant young lady.
