- Nan: a whopping total of 211! Can he expect these kinds of results every week?!?!
- Panthers - Cam Newton: 15
- Jaguars - Luke McCown: 89.5, Blaine Gabbert: 8.5
- Chiefs - Matt Cassel: 93 (apparently, he was benched for Tyler Palko)
- Buccaneers - Josh Freeman: 15
And now, for an interview with this week's leader.
Nan, you've smashed the competition. Tell us how you feel.
I've bought too much fruit.
No, the league, sir. About quarterbacks.
I just went to Berkeley Bowl, and shit, we have a lot of fruit. Look at these strawberries!
A statement, sir, please!
THUNDERCATS, HOOOOO!
Nan!
Have a grape. I think one of the main problems is that I shop with this fruit basket in mind. What will look good in my fruit basket, I ask myself, and now we have fifteen limes. What am I going to do with all these limes.
*chokes on grape in rage*
- Alison: 13, an unexpectedly bad week of overachieving! If it weren’t for Vick being loose with the ball, she might’ve ended up with negative points!
- Cowboys - John Kitna: 1.5, Tony Romo: -8.5
- Eagles - Michael Vick: 26, Mike Kafka: -3
- Browns - Colt McCoy: 2
- Lions - Matthew Stafford: -5
- Me: 13, a tie with Alison!
- Redskins - Rex Grossman: 10
- Bills - Ryan Fitzpatrick: -2
- 49ers - Alex Smith: 11
- Bengals - Andy Dalton: -6
How dare you, Ryan Fitzpatrick and Andy Dalton! How can you be doing this to me? Andy Dalton has been a Bengal for only 8 more weeks than I have, and Ryan Fitzpatrick just sounds like some kind of Lucky Charm marshmallow. And I would have had way more points out of Alex Smith if his grip on the ball wasn’t so remarkably sticky! I may be in the basement this week, but I saw some promising things out there, and I hope to come back. But Nan got big points for QB benchings, looks like that’s where the real money’s at! I’ve missed the boat!
- Rob: 57
- Dolphins -Chad Henne: 16
- Raiders - Jason Campbell: -6
- Broncos - Kyle Orton: 21
- Colts - Kerry Collins: 26
Obviously, I was extremely disappointed with the Raiders. I can only hope that Campbell stops pretending he's good. I also think Kerry Collins should ponder retirement and really just give Painter a chance. A chance to prove that he's learned nothing these past years that he's been backing Peyton. The problem with the Colts this season is that their division is not THAT great, so I am really counting on them to suck especially hard.
Any words of encouragement for Chad Henne?
Hang in there, dont' give up. The coach will take you out when he thinks it's time. And don't get hurt. I need you benched, not IRed.
- Xian: 49
- Texans - Matt Schaub: 0
- Steelers - Ben Roethisberger: 0
- Ravens - Joe Flacco: 23
- Seahawks - Tarvaris Jackson: 26
All I can say is, I'm quite proud of the Seahawks. They are a true inspiration to the common man: you can be so bad at your job, and still get paid quite well.
Thanks for your time. And vitriol.
I knew I should have put the Jets in the Bad League!
- GOOD QB NPC: -10
- Patriots - Tom Brady: -17
- Chargers - Philip Rivers: 18
- Saints - Drew Brees: -5
- Packers - Aaron Rodgers: -6
- MEDIUM QB NPC: 34
- Giants - Eli Manning: 5
- Falcons - Matt Ryan: 6
- Cardinals - Kevin Kolb: 7
- Jets - Mark Sanchez: 16
- BAD QB NPC: 15
- Titans - Matt Hasselbeck: -4
- Bears - Jay Cutler: 10
- Vikings - Donovan McNabb: 10
- Rams - Sam Bradford: -1
I knew I should have put the Jets in the Bad League!
