So maybe there's more to listening that we previously thought. Basically yesterday I mostly succeeded at 'Being Quiet While Other People Talk'. But when I'm not involved in the conversation, I start to drift. We can't define that as 'listening', now can we. So today we're going to expand and develop further, with Asking Follow-up Questions.
Because the other problem with 'Being Quiet While Other People Talk' is that they might think you're uninterested (and you might be), and then they just stop talking. Asking the right questions can not only move the conversation along in a direction you want to know about (again, Espionage Arts Merit Badge!) but it shows that the person you're talking to isn't just spitting words into the void.
This is going to be super hard tonight - having dinner with a friend and her boyfriend that, together, usually contribute about zero to the conversation, while I regale them with endless stupid stories. I'll consider it a success if I glean one or two bits out of her. In her defense (and mine, I guess) she's in graduate school, and when you're in graduate school, speaking from personal experience, there's not much to talk about. There's no funny stories, new happenings, or interesting people. There's just you, the paper that's going nowhere and you don't want to talk about it, your graduation that's going nowhere and you don't want to talk about it, and your research that's going nowhere and you don't want to talk about it. Definitely, for the record, don't ask about graduation. Graduate students don't know, they don't want to speculate, and they don't want to talk about it.
At least I can further the cause of NOT leaping in with a nerdy lecture to educate her on something useless. Wish me luck.
