It's Broadway week, and there's two dances per competitor! Action kicks off with a number from Sister Act, the musical - it was loud!
Rob Kardashian
Video: So, his mom visited while he and Cheryl were practicing the cha-cha? And she kind of gushed on about how proud she is, and how he's come so far from the shy boy that he was and turned into a man, and now he's got to go out there and kick some butt. But here's the thing. He tried to say at least two different things during this pre-canned speech of hers, and she ran roughshod right over his attempts to speak. This is why he's so submissive, lady? You and all those other women have been running over him all his life. GO ROB YOU'RE FREE OF THEM NOW.
Outfits: Tame. Like Vegas card dealers.
Dance: Also tame. Kind of carefully done. And the music didn't allow for very much cha-cha party feel. His mom's visit has regressed him back to submissive Rob. :(
Critique: No rhythm - that's as far as the judges got before the boos drowned them out. All the Kardashians are there, if I didn't mention. They comment too much on how much of a man vs a boy he is. He's older than 18, so we shouldn't be having this discussion - it cuckolds a man. 8-7-7
Nancy Grace
Video: Nancy had a crazy moment, and this time, someone was there to say "that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard" when she jumped to a crazy conclusion. Listen to the man, Nancy. He is the expert.
Outfits: They're all probably going to be boring this week, aren't they. Tristan and Nancy look like they're at a tame Halloween party.
Dance: She's finally forced (or allowed) to smile happily and add personality to the dance. That's good for her. But her steps are awkward at best and didn't look right or on time.
Critique: Carrie Ann claims she nailed everything, so what do I know. Len disagreed. No judges fight. Yet. 9-7-8
David Arquette
Video: They were concerned about his manic energy being released in this song. Energy? That's not what I'd call it. Energy is good, lack of control is bad.
Outfit: Boring.
Dance: Yes, that was manic. But what he did, he did with flair. Parts of it, I thought, were genuinely snappy.
Critique: The judges also used words like "your energy got the better of you" and "your enthusiasm made you get ahead of yourself". That's a really bad sign. 8-7-8
Ricki Lake
Video: She's really competitive, actually! I suppose it's around that time in the competition that you either grit your teeth and tell the camera "I want to WIN that mirror ball!" really aggressively and loud and then put in insane numbers of hours and effort, or you say "I'm so glad I did this, it's been so fun" as you're having your last dance...
Outfit: Tame, and that's good for Ricki, who sometimes gets the bad costume designer
Dance: Kind of tame. Clean, though, and that's what counts.
Critique: Len was nitpicky on a random tidbit, but you know that's a good sign. 10-9-10
Chaz Bono
Video: Poor Lacey seems like she's tired of carrying him through the competition, with him not remembering routines and needing her to talk to him throughout and make easy dances. Lacey deserves some athlete one of these seasons.
Outfit: I think Lacey has something to bolster her butt up really artificially high.
Dance: I thought it was pretty good, actually. His moves were way sharper.
Critique: Now, they're on him, having realized that they gave him too high of scores and he shouldn't be hanging around so far into the competition. Too reactionary, judges. Lacey looked plain out offended at some of the comments after all her hard work. 7-6-6
Hope Solo
Video: If you know anything about Hope, and maybe you don't, you should know that she is not the best "politics" person. She says stuff she doesn't mean, and stuff that should probably be best kept inside, and generally wears her true emotions on the inside. She also appears to take criticism too personally - show your detractors that they were wrong to doubt you, Hope!
Outfit: Did Hope get the bad outfit designer again? Or is this outfit right from Rent? Either way, it was not good, and neither was Max's.
Dance: She went back to semi-stiff, and rumba is a really bad time for that. Also, was there enough content? Maks made a face at the end that clearly said: "are we about to get kicked off?"
Critique: It started apologetically critical by Carrie Ann, and went bad from there, culminating in a snippy rant by Maks, trying to defend Hope from what he knows will be fatal criticism. It was a fight, and even Carrie Ann looked pissed. Remarkably, the voice of reason was Bruno. 7-6-7
JR Martinez
Video: Looks like he's going to sweep this competition without too much difficulty - his only competition is Ricki Lake, the others are just competing to see how many weeks they'll last at this point. Check out the score differentials!
Outfit: Boring!
Dance: Looked like tricky choreo, but it didn't seem perfect and crisply executed to me. Maybe I've become jaded by precise folks like Helio and Kristi Yamaguchi?
Critique: They kept it short and sweet, probably due to the ugliness of the fight previous, and the fact that they were probably going to run out of time if they continued effusive praise. 10-9-10
I did not know who Kristin Chenowicz is, and I don't usually want to be so negative about someone I don't know, but she kind of looks and sounds like a terrifying corpse reanimated and spray-tanned. Cute dress, though? She did a number while the stars changed outfits for the group dance.
Group Dance
Video: This is a really serious, down to earth group of celebrities, but the professional choreographer in charge was "very concerned" things were about to go south on live television. Am I the only one who devoutly hopes that comical moment at the beginning where Lacey and Chaz got stuck in the door trying to go through at the same time, cartoon-style, was genuine? Someone also made the observation that Hope probably benefited most from being around other sexy women, let's hope she takes advantage (no pun intended. How does she avoid puns.) And I've said this before, but Nancy Grace can be positively adorable, which is just not something I would have thought, before seeing her on DWTS.
Outfits: All black and white, the ladies' outfits varied wildly in terms of skin shown. From Karina's, which you probably could have guessed was wholly non-existent, to Nancy and Ricki, who are very much in petticoats back there.
Dance: The together portions were extremely simple, so you couldn't really tell the difference between stars, but you could see a difference between celebs and dance pros, since they gave themselves extra embellishments (spins, etc). Maybe they were trying to cater to some of their bad celebs. The individual parts were really short, and were basically only enough for each person to get out there and demonstrate whatever trick lift they could learn in one day. Ricki's, Nancy's, and Hope's were all terribly awkward, and Chaz did that thing again where he stands there as large backdrop for Lacey to do her thing and look sexy.
Results show featured Corbin Bleu (sp?) in a Macy's Stars of Dance, singing some Broadway song? I didn't recognize it. It came down to Chaz and Hope in the final two (not necessarily the bottom) it was odd because the judges said Chaz did his best dancing that week, and Hope did her worst. I figure these two have a ton of viewer support. In the end, Chad was finally let go. Thanks for everything, Chad!
