LCS Qualifiers: Day 1, Group C

Group C: 1 Trick Ponies, Dirt Nap Gaming, Falafel Gaming, Meat Playground

1Trick Ponies vs Dirt Nap Gaming
---1TP bans: Zyra, Lee Sin, Kha'Zix---DNG bans: Evelynn, Jarvan, Malphite---
1TP: Olaf, Amumu, Katarina, Miss Fortune, Sona
DNG: Shen, Maokai, Jayce, Graves, Lulu
1TP always seems to have an unusual plan.  This game, they send MF mid with Sona, Olaf bot, and Katarina top, and it seems to backfire, because Sona makes a silly move and gets herself first blooded. Later 1TP groups up mid to fight and lets bot fall.  Eventually 1TP gets so far behind in gold, DNG Cris on Shen becomes completely unkillable - Deman calls him a 'raid boss' when all five 1TP's are on him for a full minute and he just casually kills them all.  Gruesome.

1Trick Ponies vs Falafel Gaming
---1TP bans: Nocturne, Amumu, Shen---FG bans: Lee Sin, Evelynn, LeBlanc---
1TP: Zed, Olaf, Katarina, Miss Fortune, Sona
FG: Rumble, Nunu, Pantheon, Graves, Lulu
No tricks this time from 1TP, just LilKvn mid with Katarina.  But I doubt it's the standard style of gameplay that let's them get so far ahead; I think they just outclass FG.

Meat Playground vs Falafel Gaming
---MP bans: Rumble, Shen, Nunu---FG bans: Evelynn, Kha'Zix, Lee Sin---
MP: Vlad, Amumu, Katarina, Miss Fortune, Sona
FG: Elise, Cho'Gath, Pantheon, Ezreal, Leona
Absolutely crazy aggressive MP Arthelon on Katarina mid - first item potion of fortitude with the intention of tower dive for first blood.  After that, ran to bot to tower dive to kill both bot and got himself killed.  His crazy aggression seems to be okay with the rest of MP, which savagely initiated fight after fight and the score quickly got out of hand.

Dirt Nap Gaming vs Meat Playground
---DNG bans: Amumu, Malphite, Nidalee---MP bans: Twisted Fate, Shen, Kha'Zix---
DNG: Olaf, Nocturne, Jayce, Graves, Sona
MP: Cho'Gath, Lee Sin, Evelynn, Caitlyn, Nunu
MP initiates a lane switch, but loses the life exchange when the ganks happen, starting off in an early 4-1 deficit. DNG knows how to put the lockdown on, and turns that advantage into a big snowball.

1Trick Ponies vs Meat Playground
---1TP bans: Zyra, Shen, Ezreal---MP bans: Katarina, Amumu, Miss Fortune---
1TP: Zed, Evelynn, LeBlanc, Caitlyn, Lulu
MP: Malphite, Nunu, Kha'Zix, Kog'Maw, Sona
Right at the outset, Phreak definitely states that Kog'Maw will get too huge late game for 1TP to do anything about - they'll have to win within approx 20 min or not at all.  I wonder if 1TP knew that.  MP puts ADC and support mid, strangely, and 1TP immediately moves their lanes to counter.  Apparently the 'one trick' that 1 Trick Ponies is named after is LilKvn's LeBlanc, which he mains.  And indeed, he plays a classy LeBlanc with a number of flashy kills, but MP's strong late game eventually overpowers their assassin-heavy team.

Results:
1. DNG (2-0)
2. MP (2-1)
3. 1TP (1-2)
4. FG (0-2)

LCS: Qualifiers Day 1, Group B

I've reviewed all of the games on the first two days of qualifiers, and the most important game to watch is MRN vs C9 during the group stage on the first day of qualifiers.  It's only about 20 minutes, but at the same time, is a pretty close and exciting game.  Here is the link to the playlist on youtube.  Group stage means that you play everyone in your group and best records move on - basically you win twice, you're clear, and you lose twice, you go home.

Group B: Fear, TowerDive TV, GoodGame University, Epik

FeaR vs TowerDive TV

---FR bans: Draven, Katarina, Lulu---TDT bans: Evelynn, Blitzcrank, Twisted Fate---

FR: Elise, Lee Sin, Ryze, Kog'Maw, Nunu

TDT: Xin Zhao, Shen, Lux, Ezreal, Sona

TDT had an unusual line-up, and an unusual strategy; Shen gave red buff to XZ top, and blue buff to EZ bot, and then spent all his time trying to gank, basically giving up jungle to try and dominate lanes.  Alas, it did not work. 

FeaR vs GoodGame University

---FR bans: Katarina, Nunu, Kha'Zix---GGU bans: Shen, Evelynn, Lee Sin---

FR: Rumble, Cho'Gath, Jayce, Ezreal, Zyra

GGU: Nidalee, Elise, Ziggs, Graves, Lulu

GGU initiates a lane switch, but champs are still listed above in order of the spirit of original lane assignments. I like ZionSpartan's Nidalee, but they couldn't quite overcome some key Rumble and Ezreal ults.  They made a good game of it, though.

GoodGame University vs TowerDive TV
---GGU bans: Rumble, Evelynn, Kha'Zix---TDT bans: Irealia, BlitzCrank, Ryze---
GGU: Katarina, Shen, Karthus, Twitch, Nunu
TDT: Singed, Amumu, Vlad, Draven, Lulu
GGU continues to switch top and bot lanes, confident in ZionSpartan's Katarina 1v2, even picking up first blood down there with a gank from NintendudeX's Shen at the moment Lulu moves off to ward river. Katarina and Shen go on to dictate team fights, while Karthus surely outlanes Vlad mid, and the 2v1 lane top pushes out as well. 

Epik Gamer vs GoodGame University

---EG bans: Elise, Nidalle, Katarina---GGU bans: Amumu, Evelynn, Shen---

EG: Kha'Zix, Maokai, Orianna, Twitch, Sona

GGU: Rumble, Olaf, Ziggs, Caitlynn, Nunu

Wonder what is up with Epik Gamer.  Rusty?  Been busy?  They seemed extremely off their game.  Well, Westrice was fine, but couldn't possibly carry hard enough to fight off all of GGU.  Dan Dinh's jungle was invaded every which way, Salce didn't dominate mid, and cat8 and PureGoldenBoy got ruined even though they went 2v1 top vs ZionSpartan's Rumble.

Epik Gamer vs TowerDive TV

---EG bans: Blitzcrank, Nunu, Lee Sin---TDT bans: Evelynn, Amumu, Ryze---

EG: Kha'Zix, Maokai, Ahri, Ezreal, Zyra

TDT: Irelia, Jarvan, Vlad, Miss Fortune, Taric

The mistakes for EG continue in this game, starting with a disastrous level 1 jungle invade that leaves Westrice dead and Dan Dinh way behind.  After getting down 6-0 in kills, EG claws it's way back into contention, but then seemingly throws the game away. Strange and unfortunate, because losing twice means we won't be seeing any more of Epik Gamer this season.

Final results:
1. FeaR (2-0)
2. GGU (2-1)
3. TDT (1-2)
4. EG (0-2)

AC3: Day 2

Some silly ship stuff happens – I did like the little board games that I could play to kill the time, though.  We arrive in America none the worse for wear, and I start getting acquainted with my five fellow Templars.  Again, are we not supposed to know that?  They really seem like the evil dudes, to me.  We wantonly murder our way through the streets of Boston, after all.  One of my guys shoots a dude point blank in the face.  Anyhow, there is some loose explanation about how they need some native assistance to read the inscriptions on the stolen green circle necklace.  Therefore, we need to rescue some natives that are being kidnapped and sold into slavery.  After that, make friendly with the de facto native leader lady, who is a strong, independent, fiery Ubisoft archetype.  And now, we know where we are going with all this – the real main character will be their tragic, somewhat conflicted offspring.  Let’s just get to it, already, then!  I plow through the next missions as fast as possible.

Haytham finds the self-same grotto that Desmond and Friends just entered at the beginning of the game.  But without a proper Apple of Eden, there’s no way for him to open the door.  Frustrated, he sets up Templar shop in Boston to continue pursuit of his nefarious goals.  And, I suppose, this is where the bomb is supposed to be dropped, according to Desmond’s reaction.  I remind you, we've seen hints before in other ACs that Desmond’s ancestry is littered with both Assassins and Templars, don’t you remember!  My question is, why is his dad still such a jerk about things.  Everyone else on the Mystery Van Troop is perfectly friendly enough.

Did they up the ESRB rating?  I don’t recall us swearing quite so much in previous ACs.

I forego further exploration of the grotto in the present time for now to hop back into the Animus and leap into the shoes of our proper main character.  Let me take this opportunity to mention that Nan literally said, “Great, we’re finally in America, and that means characters with names I can pronounce.”  What amazing prophetic powers he has, because the main character has a particularly unpronounceable name!  Let’s call him ‘Ken’ until someone gives him a pronounceable nickname.  We play hide and go seek with our fellows, cheating outrageously by use of our eagle sense and new batman-like Greatest Detective skills.  Naturally, during this interlude, the Templars show up and burn the village to the ground, killing Mom.  You saw it coming, right?  You've played all the other ‘burned village, orphaned hero’ games, right?  Great.  Fast forward nine years, where we’re learning the new mechanics of free running through trees and hunting animals.  They seem like good additions to the manifold of AC tricks. 

Naturally, I’m  granted a vision of the First Civilization fellows, who basically tell me that I’m the last piece that Desmond needs to see in order to unlock the last door.  Great.  My character doesn't even understand, but decide to go for it, and doggedly waits outside a stranger’s door to receive training.  How did he know about this guy?  Did someone tell him and I missed it?  Anyway the guy is an old black guy with a cane named Achilles, and he eventually agrees to train me in the ways of the Assassin.   Somehow, my character also knows about his father, and understands that he must kill him to succeed in his goals of defending the village, etc.  I must have missed that part, too, where someone told him his father was Haytham. 

Biggest Loser S14:E3

By and large an uneventful episode, though we did learn a few terrifying statistics about childhood obesity that I dearly hope are exaggerated for tv audience.  For instance, guess what percentage of parents of obese children think their children are either normal or even under weight?  Like, if you were the parent of an obese child, and you were asked directly where you thought your child landed on the obesity scale, what would you answer?  Seventy five percent!!!  Holy hell!  Look right at your kids, folks.  Look right at them.  Those extra jelly rolls are NOT normal kid shapes!
Anyhow, they try to make a point by locking the team that lost the trivia challenge (blue team) in the kid's playroom for four and a half hours every day and not letting them work out.  Actually just seemed silly and un-impactful for either team or audience.  Just saying.
The challenge is to crawl through a pit filled with bubblegum a bunch of times, and it seems both gross, and potentially dangerous to knees and other twistable joints.  I'm not a fan.
Jillian and Pam fight some more - Pam still has a bit of negativity inside her, and Jillian is tired of mincing words with her.  Sorry Jillian, sometimes it takes people weeks or months to realize it, but after watching so many seasons of this show, I'm sure whoever survives to the end will make that breakthrough.  They did have a hilarious moment right in the middle of getting in each other's faces - Pam says she cannot possibly manage these bearclaws!  And Jillian stops screaming for a second to laugh and correct her - bearcrawls, Pam.  Not bearclaws.  Bearclaws are how you got into this mess.  Bearcrawls will get you out.
Dolvett's team (red) loses the weigh in and is forced to make the first elimination decision of the season.  They've made it more Survivor voting style (more high-tech) instead of their usual discussion/sniping format.  They eliminate Cate.
Have I mentioned the new pictures all over the gym?  Former contestants with motivational quotes and thin smiling bodies. I'm loving it.  I even hear some of them have become trainers.  That is too awesome.  Here's a link to all the posters.

The Biggest Loser S14:E2

Biggest Loser shows off it's association with the NFL's Play60, Walgreen's, etc.  Jillian is forced to have a sit-down with what remains of her team and ask them what she needs to do to get them to work and stop quitting in the gym. Her team wins the challenge again and nets a Play60 visit for Sunny's (their representative teen's) school. Dr. H makes his requisite visit and scares the contestants straight (hopefully).
Bob, Jillian, and Dolvett had the chance to design their own outdoor gyms, and Bob's contains a bunch of crossfit people.  I recognize some of them - man I need to watch less tv, if I recognize some of these people from the CrossFit Games.
Jillian's team loses the weigh-in AGAIN and she is down to only two players.  I doubt I can grasp how angry she is.

AC3: Day 1

A brief summary of what has come before plays – it is as I've told you, but it paints Desmond in a somewhat more positive light than ‘Animus Patsy’.  It also references the doomsdate of 12/21/12, but alas, I've begun playing the game on 12/22/12.  C’est la vie.  We immediately shift to the van of renegades plus Desmond driving to their mystery location.  When we have control, the game just wants us to walk forward – is it just me, or is that somewhat a waste of time?  If you’re not going to let me do anything else, why even let me control him?  Also, why is Desmond the only one not carrying equipment into the dark cave? 

Questions aside, when we use the Apple of Eden to move a secret wall and reach some kind of Temple inside, Desmond has another break with reality – I mean, Juno talks to him again and he collapses, and his helpful buddies put him in the Animus.

They chat quickly about ‘Animus upgrades,’ but I’m too distracted by the way Desmond is standing noticeably hunched over in the white cloudy Animus atmosphere while talking.  The stance is much more suited towards assassin-y action, and I’m relieved when the Rock Band girl wants me to do some simple calibration free running.  It’s not a long tutorial before I’m unceremoniously dropped into a theater setting, as someone named Nathan.  We’re watching a play, or an opera, or something, and I suddenly have to go murder someone on the balcony.  I climb the balconies, wondering to myself how no one in the entire opera hall is noticing the crazy dude in a cloak climbing along the balconies right in front of their faces.   It occasionally gets really dark, and I wonder if my gamma settings are off.

When I pause the game to go to settings, would you believe it says right there in the objective: “The First Civilization has led Desmond Miles and his allies here in order to prevent a massive solar flare that threatens all life on the planet.  Now they just need to figure out how to do it.  Desmond’s ancestral memories appear to hold the answers.”  Not only am I miffed that I don’t seem to recall this information being told to me at any point thus far, but I wonder if I've missed a lot of other stuff by not pausing and reading the mission text all this time.

Back to the murder.  There is some cryptic dialogue with the victim – now that subtitles are turned on, I can see that my character’s name is apparently “Haytham.” He murders a guy that he apparently knows, and steals a circular necklace, passing eerily by a child witness on his way out.  Haytham is then sent to America to locate a storehouse from the First Civilization, which the Templars seem to know about. 

Wait a second.  Isn't Haytham is a member of the Templars?  Even though he had a wrist blade and some mad parkour skills?  I suppose that is yet to be seen.

On board the ship, Haytham engages in a bit of combat for training, and expresses distaste for pretty much everyone aboard.  Is it just me, or is it terribly obvious that this guy and his Order are Templars?  Is that something that is supposed to be a surprise, later?  Because it’ll be a surprise for me if he isn't, frankly.   The odd thing for me is that my allies have Assassin signals over their heads.  I figured we weren't assassins.  Maybe it’s just me.

The Biggest Loser S14:E1

Is it season 14?  I may be wrong about that, but we're going to go with it.
They always assume they need a new hook - I understand where the producers are coming from, but for myself, I don't feel that need.  Lucky for me, the changes are not that huge.  They've added a new challenge, more for themselves and America (the season is called Challenge America, btw) to tackle childhood obesity.  How are they going to do this in a more direct way than they have been?  They invite three overweight kids to rep each color team.  One wonders how they're going to keep this above board with juvenile participants?  I'm sure they're carefully clearing all this through many channels.  I mean, they look like they're about to kill an overweight adult every season, so they must have an army of lawyers.  I won't worry about them further.
The kids are treated gently.  None of them will be eliminated, and they get to stay at home for the most part with occasional visits to the ranch to work with their individual trainers, and they cannot be eliminated. Bob gets Bingo, a plucky young blonde dude (13).  Dolvett gets Lindsay, a mexican (?) 13-year-old girl who wants to be a cheerleader again.  Jillian gets Sunny, an Indian 16-year-old girl who's busy with AP classes and prom, etc.  It must be crazy difficult to be on TV as an overweight kid.
Of course, Jillian is back, and better than ever.  She ruins fools in the gym, and I hope I'm not the only one that sympathizes with Jillian when these fools give up on her mid-workout.  I mean, I know they're heavy, but these guys are professional trainers, the best; they're asking these people to do exactly as much as they can handle - sometimes it's as little as getting down on the ground and then lumbering back to their feet.  I had hoped that before a person goes to the Biggest Loser ranch, they knew that the whole point was to put your life in the hands of your trainer, have complete faith and trust in their expertise and realize that your way was obviously the wrong way. I was proven wrong this week, and that saddens me more than anything.  Someone on Jillian's team gave up mid-workout and left the ranch.  Jillian was so frustrated by her lack of effort on the basic movements in the gym that she gave her player a simple choice: workout or exit door.  And she looked right at Jillian and said, "I'm going to go with the door." Jillian's jaw dropped.  Bam, she was gone.  She didn't even wait until the weigh in and sacrifice herself!  Someone else on her team who actually worked hard and made the emotional commitment to change got eliminated after one week!  Outrageous. It's like she had never seen the show before.  As Xian said, did she think that everyone on Biggest Loser just got gastric bypass and a pat on the back?
So fail.