Day two in this new land of Constantinople / Istanbul, and I've had it with being hand held! I'm off to strike it rich on my own without you, Yusuf, you wait right there in the HQ while I murder my way across this city and back.
He taught me a while ago about territory take-overs, and in the tutorial part, it was WAY easier than it is in practice. But it seems that I won't have to do it overmuch, as there are only maybe 7-9 territories in the city, and soon, they will all be mine, muahahahaa. The concept is, to walk up to the restricted area around a Templar Den and go into Eagle Vision to identify the Templar Captain. You do this by hovering over likely candidates for about a second and when you find him, it notifies you clearly that this guy is your target. All you've got to do is identify him, kill him, then climb a tower and light the signal, and the den is yours. Shops in the area can be renovated, more assassins can be recruited, and everyone's happier. The problem is the identification part, actually. You can't exactly just stand around and peer at people - it's a restricted area, so the guards are onto you no matter how casual you might act. And the Captain is often in annoyingly difficult-to-reach locations; of course in the tutorial, you can see him from a nearby rooftop and then send a thrown dart spinning his way and that's the end of it. In some areas, he's practically stashed inside a building behind several guys standing watch. You have to get creative with the killing and the smoke bombs to even figure out who or where he is, and there are way too many guards to keep a low profile. But if you're spotted, some of the captains run, and you have to "come back another day" to liberate that area. It's proving to be the most exhausting and failure-prone part of Faffing About Creed.
The remainder of the mechanics of step-by-step city takeover are all going well. The teleport spots (tunnel entrances) are all pre-unlocked, so you can go where you please. Romanis replace courtesans in this game, serving the same function, though in fact, they are wearing less. Renovating structures, strangely, puts you on the templars' radar, by about 25-30% 'awareness' per renovation, which I find a touch odd conceptually, but not in execution, because this means you can't exactly go willy-nilly renovating every thing in sight once you come into a little money. At 100% awareness, the next provoking action you take will apparently result in one of your assassin dens coming under attack from the templars, and after the trouble I went to in order to free those areas, I'm certainly going to take time out to reduce my awareness levels between spending sprees. It's just a matter of murdering an official or bribing a herald. So I spent hours alternating between increasing and decreasing my templar awareness. It's all for the good, you'll see - every structure renovated adds to my hourly income. While I'm off doing storyline missions later, my coffers will be auto-filling at a disgusting rate.
Look, I'll play Faffing About Creed my way, we'll get to the rest momentarily.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
AC:Rev, Day 1
Assassin's Creed: Revelations, for those of you who can't read abbreviation-speak.
Day one in this new game, and I certainly feel like AC thinks it's my first rodeo. This is a painstaking amount of tutorial for running and climbing that is being spoonfed in my direction by a ghostly apparition of Atair, the Original Assassin. I'm either not following the storyline closely enough, or they're not making it clear enough - for some reason, an extremely aged Ezio has traveled to Jerusalem and the stronghold fortress of the assassins from the very first game. After reviewing moving, running, climbing, and leaping, we go on to a brief review of basic combat and assassination. Then, a refresher course on tailing a target, with a new twist on Eagle Sense, where you can either see a ghostly apparition of the target walking away, or at least make out a remnant of their path. Why we are in a Templar-infested Masayaf, I did not really figure out.
We skip ahead to Sequence 2, where Ezio is arriving in Istanbul and meets the local assassin branch representative, Yusuf. As far as I can understand via Ezio's correspondence with his sister, Ezio discovered a secret door with tons of locks that was created by Altair, and both he and the Templars want to get to the chamber beyond. This search has lead him (and the Templars) to Istanbul. For right now, of course, your ultimate mission is on delay as you make friendly with Yusuf and help him and every other person in the world with their problems, first. Fortunately, the game now has "walk with me" mode, which means you just need to get near your buddy and Ezio automatically follows at a casual pace.
More tutorials. Remember how to pickpocket? Not that I will ever need it after I begin my massive renovation and financial takeover of this entire landscape. Next, here's something new for you - the hookblade. The assassins of Istabul have added a nice little hook to their hidden blades, and Yusuf takes some time making sure you grasp the concept. With it, you can zipline along the many ropes strewn about the city (and zipline-assasinate), hook a person and hop over him ("Hook and Run"), reach higher when you climb, and change the hanging pot-turn maneuver into a long-jump maneuver.
Now here's something strange, Assassin Tower Defense? A diversion from your regular game, where you defend an assassin den from attacking templars by assigning crossbow/rifle assassins to a rooftop and build barricades. Yes, I will happily do more of these later. Let's keep this extremely long tutorial section moving for now.
Next, Yusuf teaches me how to go on the attack for more territory - Eagle Sense has been changed a bit, you now go into Eagle Sense mode and hover over each person until you identify if they're the target you're looking for. In a Templar-controlled territory, you need only to identify and kill the Captain, and then climb a tower and light a signal fire to regain the region (but it can be re-conquered by Templars later). Naturally I did not notice the part where "full synchronization" was achieved by not being seen killing the Captain, and ran right in there and lost 50% synch! I did that about 6 more times before I learned to pay more attention to the mission statement before blundering in. For example, the next mission asked you to pickpocket a key from a guard, but I murdered him instead. Whups.
Next tutorial is on assassin recruitment, and after that, assassin use in-game, and finally, assassin deployment to outlying districts. I find it an enjoyable and rewarding part of the game, but I may be in the minority. All of the guild missions are also unlocked, and I took a quick look at the lists. It is a long and exhausting-looking set of conditions. This is going to be a long game.
After that, the Istanbul assassins want to teach you about bombs. AC:R has a ton of bomb options. You actually have to gather materials and craft your own, so you can pretty much personalize your bombs to your playstyle - bouncy or sticky, big bang or small bang, filled with shrapnel, or filled with poison. I was pretty much overwhelmed by the options. Batman and Link may be seeing green at this point - three separate bomb pouches! Two wheels worth of items - poison daggers, bombs, crossbows, tiny gun, hidden blade. So many options! I just wanted to stab a dude, guys. I have more instruments in my bag right now, (and a lot more blank slots to be filled later in the game!) than I did in Trauma Center, and I was playing a freaking surgeon. Just.... crazy. There's no less than 8 mini-missions inside the bomb-crafting store to teach you how to use your multitudes of bombs, and you have to pass each one before those bombs become unlocked for purchase. This will take more than one day.
Day one in this new game, and I certainly feel like AC thinks it's my first rodeo. This is a painstaking amount of tutorial for running and climbing that is being spoonfed in my direction by a ghostly apparition of Atair, the Original Assassin. I'm either not following the storyline closely enough, or they're not making it clear enough - for some reason, an extremely aged Ezio has traveled to Jerusalem and the stronghold fortress of the assassins from the very first game. After reviewing moving, running, climbing, and leaping, we go on to a brief review of basic combat and assassination. Then, a refresher course on tailing a target, with a new twist on Eagle Sense, where you can either see a ghostly apparition of the target walking away, or at least make out a remnant of their path. Why we are in a Templar-infested Masayaf, I did not really figure out.
We skip ahead to Sequence 2, where Ezio is arriving in Istanbul and meets the local assassin branch representative, Yusuf. As far as I can understand via Ezio's correspondence with his sister, Ezio discovered a secret door with tons of locks that was created by Altair, and both he and the Templars want to get to the chamber beyond. This search has lead him (and the Templars) to Istanbul. For right now, of course, your ultimate mission is on delay as you make friendly with Yusuf and help him and every other person in the world with their problems, first. Fortunately, the game now has "walk with me" mode, which means you just need to get near your buddy and Ezio automatically follows at a casual pace.
More tutorials. Remember how to pickpocket? Not that I will ever need it after I begin my massive renovation and financial takeover of this entire landscape. Next, here's something new for you - the hookblade. The assassins of Istabul have added a nice little hook to their hidden blades, and Yusuf takes some time making sure you grasp the concept. With it, you can zipline along the many ropes strewn about the city (and zipline-assasinate), hook a person and hop over him ("Hook and Run"), reach higher when you climb, and change the hanging pot-turn maneuver into a long-jump maneuver.
Now here's something strange, Assassin Tower Defense? A diversion from your regular game, where you defend an assassin den from attacking templars by assigning crossbow/rifle assassins to a rooftop and build barricades. Yes, I will happily do more of these later. Let's keep this extremely long tutorial section moving for now.
Next, Yusuf teaches me how to go on the attack for more territory - Eagle Sense has been changed a bit, you now go into Eagle Sense mode and hover over each person until you identify if they're the target you're looking for. In a Templar-controlled territory, you need only to identify and kill the Captain, and then climb a tower and light a signal fire to regain the region (but it can be re-conquered by Templars later). Naturally I did not notice the part where "full synchronization" was achieved by not being seen killing the Captain, and ran right in there and lost 50% synch! I did that about 6 more times before I learned to pay more attention to the mission statement before blundering in. For example, the next mission asked you to pickpocket a key from a guard, but I murdered him instead. Whups.
Next tutorial is on assassin recruitment, and after that, assassin use in-game, and finally, assassin deployment to outlying districts. I find it an enjoyable and rewarding part of the game, but I may be in the minority. All of the guild missions are also unlocked, and I took a quick look at the lists. It is a long and exhausting-looking set of conditions. This is going to be a long game.
After that, the Istanbul assassins want to teach you about bombs. AC:R has a ton of bomb options. You actually have to gather materials and craft your own, so you can pretty much personalize your bombs to your playstyle - bouncy or sticky, big bang or small bang, filled with shrapnel, or filled with poison. I was pretty much overwhelmed by the options. Batman and Link may be seeing green at this point - three separate bomb pouches! Two wheels worth of items - poison daggers, bombs, crossbows, tiny gun, hidden blade. So many options! I just wanted to stab a dude, guys. I have more instruments in my bag right now, (and a lot more blank slots to be filled later in the game!) than I did in Trauma Center, and I was playing a freaking surgeon. Just.... crazy. There's no less than 8 mini-missions inside the bomb-crafting store to teach you how to use your multitudes of bombs, and you have to pass each one before those bombs become unlocked for purchase. This will take more than one day.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
DWTS (S14): Week 4 Eliminations
Kiss is performing to promote their new tour, but I really don't know much about KISS. More important is the news on Melissa Gilbert, who went to the hospital at the end of last night's show. A slo-mo replay reveals that Maks hurt his arm at some point during the dance, and could not do the drop-spin with enough distance. Melissa was too close to him as she spun, and she spun at high speed head first into the back of his knees, explaining why he fell, and why she was taken to the hospital for observation during the show. They said she's fine, but the doctor recommended a day of rest, so Maks has to face the elimination alone, which looks awfully exposed, in that stage alone. But he's safe, as is Gladys, Jaleel, and even Gavin! If you're keeping score at home, this means that two favorites who have never been in the bottom two at about to get a nasty surprise.
Immediately, you discount Katherine, William, Maria, and Sheri, so that leaves Roshon as the one who is obviously in trouble, just by considering the peculiarities of the fan base.
And yes, he is in the bottom two, but here is the real surprise: Sheri is eliminated! How awful!
Monday, April 9, 2012
DWTS (S14): Week 4
Rock Week, and the ballroom has undergone a full transformation.
Katherine: Katherine, on the other hand, smiles occasionally through he paso, as well as singing along with the song, which detracts from her MMA-themed dance. That's just looking for nitpicks, it's still good, of course. 8-8-8 judges seem to be coming down on those exceptionally high scores from last week.
Jaleel: Jaleel has no idea who Mick Jagger is, so he is baffled by Kym's enthusiasm for what he calls a "chicken-walker". He looks like he is having a ton of fun in this tango - is that allowed? Carrie Ann mentions what I was searching for, that his smoothness is not appropriate here. 8-7-7
Melissa: Maks was a true pest the entire week, trying to get Melissa into an angry enough mood to 'kill' him at the end of their paso. Her attitude is right, but she's not entirely in control of her moves. 7-8-7
Donald: Peta takes advantage of Donald's physique shamelessly by stripping him mostly naked. You got to hand it to her, she is not pulling any punches. Donald is again showing off his extensive knowledge of the show, as well. 9-9-9
Gladys: Bohemian Rhapsody, hooray. Gladys is IN the rock and roll hall of fame already, so her only concern is not getting kicked out, you know? For an old lady, she is super rocking. And, her legs are pretty good. Judges did not like it, though. 7-6-7
William: for some reason, William and Cheryl are doing the jive? Not sure why everyone else is doing paso and tango and you're the only ones doing jive. I believe I mentioned before that the whole cast is a feel-good, goody-two-shoes affair, but William also doesn't know anything about 80's rock. Cheryl actually brought in a real hair band, but this did not actually help William execute the dance - he just lost it midway through. 7-7-8
Roshon: Viennese waltz? Is this rock? Well anyway, he does great until some bangle just _explodes_ off Chelsie's wrist and he bobbles the next bit. His style is great and Chelsie's concerns about him being limp noodly are largely unfounded. The unusual part about watching him is that usually Chelsie is the youngest and smallest, and he is surprisingly younger and smaller-looking than her. 9-8-9
Maria: Maria's foot is fractured. Really, Maria? Just play on through? There is also a hilarious Greek contingent in the audience consisting of John Stamos, the lady from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and the lady from Body of Evidence. 9-8-9
Gavin: I like Gavin's outfit. Before the music starts, you think he looks like a Tim Burton tailor, but the music is Paint It Black, so it makes sense. Karina, on the other hand, had some strange feathers stuck on her face. Carrie Ann was reminded of Johnny Depp, that's the outfit talking. Judges did NOT like the hold and posture. Gavin seems resigned to being perpetually at risk. How sad! 8-8-7
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
DWTS (S14): Week 3 Eliminations
Seal was the guest performer. I am a sucker for "Lean on Me," but did he not separate from Heidi Klum? You can't do that and still be MY hero.
Rascal Flatts was also there, but I'm not a fan of their new song, either. Is it a cynical night for me? I liked the professional dance? Let's just keep it short: Jack (despite the same 24 total score as 4 other couples) had the lowest score and bid farewell.
DWTS (S14): Week 3 Eliminations
Seale was the guest performer. I am a sucker for "Lean on Me," but did he not separate from Heidi Klum? You can't do that and still be MY hero.
Rascal Flatts was also there, but I'm not a fan of their new song, either. Is it a cynical night for me? I liked the professional dance? Let's just keep it short: Jack (despite the same 24 total score as 4 other couples) had the lowest score and bid farewell.
Monday, April 2, 2012
DWTS (S14): Week 3
It's story night, a favorite of DWTS. I'm not that sentimental, so it's not my favorite. So. Very. Much. Crying. But I guess the big plan is to create loyal fans by emotion and backstory. I will thwart this by not repeating any of it here. Tissues not required below.
Jack: Still not seeing the appeal, myself, so I'm not sure if this is going to disturb you - this samba was complete with unbuttoned shirt and waxed chest. 8-8-8
Maria: What a weird version of "Material Girl" this is! She picked the song, but her assigned dance is rumba, so they just remixed it. Ew, Derek just plain choreographed a make-out session in the middle there. As for Maria (other strangeness aside), good looking dance. This is not part of her sentimental sob-story, but is a good reason to root for her: despite busted ribs, she moonlighted yesterday as a WWE wrestler. No joke. She got divebombed and kicked a scantily-clad lady out of the ring. 9-9-9
Gladys: Slow songs suit Gladys, as you might expect. Here's something I noticed. There was a moment right at the beginning where she looked out at the audience and she absolutely looked like she had no idea what she was supposed to be doing. Then, Tristan grabbed her and (no doubt) barked some crazy-half-English instructions and she went right to work. Tristan's puppetteering is masterful, what can I say. Her execution is graceful and, as Carrie Ann said, "rich". 8-8-8
Roshon: 70s Michael Jackson samba stylings. I think the emotion got away from him, and it ended up a little more "excited kid" than clean samba technique. 8-8-9 What is with these scores?
Gavin: We found out something tragic about Gavin, alright. We found out what is under that hat that he is always wearing. And it's not a good revelation. Karina incorporated the piano, always a bad sign that you think you're about to go. But he was under the red light last week, so it's best to bust out the piano if you've got to. Gavin's lines in his rumba were WAY better, incredibly so. That could deserve another week of Karina Boot Camp. 8-8-8
Katherine: She looks like she's all but bawling during her performance, but don't get ahead of yourself - it was still perfect. It's easy to mistake her for a professional dancer because of the hair and the body. It's not required for her profession, either, she's just Katherine Jenkins. Carrie Ann sobbed all the way through her critique, and Katherine was no better. Way to put a stopper on the waterworks, Len, by complaining that there wasn't enough real ballroom hold. Bruno just said: "SENSATIONAL!" which is pretty awesome, to keep him to one word. 10-9-10 Tens!?! Already!?!
Sherri: Sherri is either acting, or really about to also start bawling in the middle of her dance. Maybe acting, because she occasionally busts out into a HUGE smile. One or the other of them is acting. Her dance seemed really, really short, but I guess time flies when you're anticipating an emotional meltdown. 8-8-8
Melissa: She is putting those legs on display, and let us all hope we are all as good-looking at that age. She looks like she is completely unable to keep up with the pace of this incredibly fast song, though. 8-8-8, really? Everyone just gets an 8 tonight?
Jaleel: When Kym said "whew! That was right! That was sexy!" in practice, she looked right at the cameraman, with a look that I hope meant: "get that camera out of here, I'm about to jump this man's bones." Too smooth, too sexy, this dance. William Levy, eat your heart out. OMG he lost it when Brooke asked him a question, though. 9-8-8
William: Cheryl popped his shirt off at the beginning, to really blow the roof off the place. The bandanna seems like an unfortunate touch, though. It was a really good salsa, but if I had a critique, it would be that he's more careful when he's in hold with Cheryl. 9-9-10
Donald: Donald just needs a little calm and finesse to be a winner in this competition. 9-8-9
Nobody got so much as a 7. Let's hope America was a little more discerning with their votes.
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