BQBL: Week 14 Scores

Another painful week, shaping up to be another gut-wrenching December in Dallas. Keep your chins up, QBs. It's not all on you. Even though a surprising number of you went down in the endzone for 20 'sacked for a safety' points.

• Nan: 134
• Panthers - Cam Newton: 15
• Jaguars - Blaine Gabbert: 14
• Chiefs - Tyler Palko: 21
• Buccaneers - Josh Freeman: 68, Josh Johnson: 16

And somehow, it's the savvy veteran that comes up all thumbs for him this week. After seeing the phenomenon that is Tim Tebow, I begin to suspect that the coaches scale back on the playbook's level of difficulty and content for QBs who they know are failures. Big number BQBL games must come from a special intersection of believing in your quarterback, and then being bitterly let down by atrocious performance. By not believing in bad QBs to start with, all BQBL points are mitigated. I don't want this to be about coaching! See my further comments on scoring issues below.

• Alison: 31
• Cowboys - Tony Romo: 4
• Eagles - Michael Vick: 5
• Browns - Colt McCoy: 22
• Lions - Matthew Stafford: 0

Interestingly, despite getting 20 points for being sacked for a safety, the rest of Tony's performance balanced it back out, with 4 TDs and 300+ yards. Sigh. Usually you win games when you have those kinds of numbers. Please. I need a moment. Go on without me. Talk amongst yourselves.

• Me: 152
• Redskins - Rex Grossman: 17
• Bills - Ryan Fitzpatrick: 81.5, Tyler Thigpen: 21.5
• 49ers - Alex Smith: 21
• Bengals - Andy Dalton: 11

Under 200 yards, less than 50% completion, pick-six, three turnover day, I always believed in you, Ryan Fitzpatrick. Unlike those chumps in Buffalo who will no doubt look back on their long-term contract with you in abject, stunned, open-mouthed horror. It's only what you deserve, Buffalo. You gave him a lucrative, long-term deal, and now you've benched him what, three times? Benched him! Put all those millions of dollars on the cold, hard seat, holding a clipboard and trying to maintain his professional dignity while some poor dude named Tyler Thigpen is out there, trying hopelessly to salvage the game. Think about that. Six year commitment and $59 million dollars, sitting on the bench, and a guy who's making less than half a million out there doing the work. Er, that is, throwing the interceptions.

• Rob: 120
• Dolphins - Matt Moore: 13, JP Losman: 25
• Raiders - Carson Palmer: 36
• Broncos - Tim Tebow: 8
• Colts - Dan Orlovsky: 38

In the next season of BQBL, if the official one at Grantland does not do it, we need to tweak the numbers. Not that I want Rob to score more points (thank goodness for the Tim Tebow Game Winning Drive negative 12 points. That's money in the bank) but I think interceptions should be worth more, whether or not they were returned for touchdowns. They're the real failure of a QB - it's your job to throw footballs to your own team for positive yards. Interceptions are the complete antithesis of your job, and it's not about waffly coaches or fan pressure or anything of that nature (except tipped passes from receivers). It's just QB-failure. And don't you think it's unfair that Carson had 4 interceptions in one game, but it equates to just about the same amount as one benching? Carson can't be benched - there's no one left to play QB in Oakland!

• Xian: 9
• Texans - TJ Yates: -8
• Steelers - Ben Roethlisberger: 5
• Ravens - Joe Flacco: 5
• Seahawks - Tavaris Jackson: 7

Me: So. News is bad on the BQBL front once again. Your team scored 9 points.

Xian: Haha. Sigh.

*Solemn pause*

Xian: Set them all on fire.

Me: ... Aye, Cap'n.

• GOOD QB NPC: 30
• Patriots - Tom Brady: 6
• Chargers - Philip Rivers: 5
• Saints - Drew Brees: -6
• Packers - Aaron Rodgers: 5, Matt Flynn: 20
• MEDIUM QB NPC: 12
• Giants - Eli Manning: -19
• Falcons - Matt Ryan: 6
• Cardinals - Kevin Kolb: 2, John Skelton: 22
• Jets - Mark Sanchez: 1
• BAD QB NPC: 141
• Titans - Matt Hasselbeck: -3, Jake Locker: -3
• Bears - Caleb Hanie: 32
• Vikings - Christian Ponder: 92, Joe Webb: 7
• Rams - AJ Feeley: 16

Oh Vikings. How I wish I had you instead of those lousy 49ers with their stupid coach who knows how to mitigate a bad QB. You'll never get Andrew Luck at this rate, Jim Harbaugh, is that what you wanted?!